Escaping the Nightmare is Working Together
by AndiTheChibi
Summary: NarutoXAzumanga Diaoh cross. Neji, Tenten and Lee's teamwork is lacking. Gai sends them to another anime by switching their spirits with three Azu. characters. Psychotic cooking!Previously, 'When Eyebrows and Highschool Girls Attack.'
1. To the Summer House!

Hi all! Thank you for reading my story. Just to warn you: THERE IS NO NARUTO IN THIS FIRST CHAPTER. There will be a lot more Naruto in the second.

To clear things up, this story takes place after the series ends in Azumanga Diaoh. Thank you for your patience. Now enjoy!

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Chiyo Miyahama, college freshman, was excited to be home for Summer vacation. She was seated at her old desk with a list of her friend's names lying near her hand; most of the names had check marks next to them. Her favorite pen was spinning between her fingers (she had mastered this trick on the plane trip home from America). A phone was resting in her other hand, ready for connection. Mr. Tadakichi, her big, fluffy, toilet paper white dog slept at her side while she rubbed his back with her foot. 

"Now I just have to invite Tomo-chan and Kurosawa-sensei! Calling is so fun, calling is so fun!" Chiyo sang cheerfully to herself. She tapped Tomo's number into the phone and waited for the connection.

"I'M NOT BUYIN' ANYTHING FROM ANY DAMN TELEMARKETER!" Tomo screamed into the phone. Mr. Tadakichi jumped up and walked to the other side of the room.

"Tomo-chan, I'm not a telemarketer," Chiyo managed to whisper into the phone, still in shock. "This is Chiyo."

"Hey Chiyo-chan! How're ya!" Tomo exclaimed only slightly softer.

"I'm good. I was wondering if you wanted to visit my summer home for a few days," Chiyo said in a monotone.

"I'D LOVE TO!" Tomo shouted at an earsplitting volume.

"We're going to leave from my house at seven-thirty tomorrow morning," Chiyo muttered as her sanity pieced back together.

"Who's driving?" Tomo asked in a voice chipper enough to make hyper-active hamsters nervous.

"I was going to invite Kurosawa-sensei!"

"I'll invite Yukari-sensei too! Her driving rocks my socks!" Cut in Tomo. There was no response. "Chiyo?" She waited. "Chiyyyoo?" Tomo paused. "Oh well! See ya tomorrow!" She hung up.

Chiyo had fainted out of fear. Now that Yukari was coming, Chiyo knew that her hyper, active crazy, former teacher was going to insist on driving to save money. She awoke to her faithful Mr. Tadakichi licking her face. Glancing to her alarm clock, she saw that it was exactly five-twenty; she had just enough time to call Kurosawa.

After a much calmer conversation with Kurosawa, Chiyo was relieved to hear that there was a chance she would not be in the death trap car. She shuffled downstairs to make her dinner, and at seven she plopped the steaming rice down onto her delicately prepared plate and happily said, "Itadakimasu!" As she consumed her meal she thought of all the fun she would be having the next day at her summer home with her friends. This was going to be the first time they had reunited since graduating. She finished, took a bath in her ever-so-large bathroom, and skipped off to bed.

By seven the next day, Chiyo was completely prepared for the trip. She pulled her hair up into pigtails and walked outside to see Sakaki sitting in the shade of a tree, stroking Mr. Tadakichi. "Sakaki-san, how's college going for you?" Chiyo inquired.

"It's going well," Sakaki replied, keeping her eyes on Mr. Tadakichi. "How about you?"

"I'm still adapting to the culture in America," Chiyo replied cheerfully, "but it's fun!"

Tomo arrived next along with Kaorin and Osaka. They hadn't changed much from last year, except Tomo had dyed her hair lime green and Osaka had gained a few inches in height.

"Now my hair color reflects my hyper-active personality! Muh ha ha!" Tomo screamed to no one in particular.

"Chiyo-chan, I bet ya I'm talla then Miss Sakaki now," Osaka reported to Chiyo in her lazy Osakan drawl. "Stand, Miss Sakaki," Osaka commanded Sakaki. Sakaki sighed and stood up. They stood back-to-back. "Chiyo-chan, who's talla?" Osaka queried eagerly.

"Gomen Osaka-chan, Sakaki's still taller than you," Chiyo replied. Osaka only came up to Sakaki's shoulder. With no emotion, Sakaki sat down and resumed petting Mr. Tadakichi.

"Miss Sakaki, I'll beat ya next time!" Osaka stated with determination.

Yomi arrived next with Kagura and Kurosawa. Like everyone else, they hadn't changed much. Actually, they hadn't changed at all. They conversed happily while waiting for the last person. Then she came in her car. The screech of tires came closer and closer.

"Yukari is approaching," Kurosawa announced. Chiyo ran and hid behind the thickest tree in her yard. The gates burst open and the Yukari mobile emerged with a cloud of smoke following it. The so-called "car" came to an immediate stop in the middle of the well-manicured lawn.

"At least the brakes work," Yomi commented.

"Helllloooo!" Yukari leaped from her car, which started to smoke heavily. The college students began their game of rock paper scissors to see who would be stuck in the Yukari Mobile, except for Tomo, who was already sitting shot-gun in Yukari's car). Tomo was joined by Kagura and Chiyo. Chiyo, who had a just-saw-a-ghost-look on her face, had to be dragged into the backseat by Tomo.

The ride in Kurosawa's van was quiet, smooth, and enjoyable, and the ride in the Yukari mobile was the exact opposite. Looking at her driving skills, you would think Yukari had a death wish. In other words, the driving habits of the two adults were normal for themselves. Yukari's car stopped for the first time during the entire trip by slamming into a tree near Chiyo's summer home. Chiyo slipped involuntarily out of her seatbelt and slammed into the windshield, cracking it. Yukari pulled the unconscious Chiyo out of the car and dumped her onto the over-grown lawn. "Help me search her pockets!" Yukari yelled to Tomo.

"Yes, master!" Tomo replied.

Kagura was still in shock and sitting in the back seat. Yukari and Tomo found Chiyo's wallet (complete with U.S. money), lint, and a key. They competed by thumb-war over the wallet and used the key to let themselves in (Yukari had to carry Kagura inside). An hour later, Kurosawa and the rest of the group arrived. At this point we will leave this happy group of friends...


	2. To Bite a Thumb

This chapter is extremely short but important. Please enjoy!

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It was a sunny day in Konoha, which meant only one thing to Neji and Tenten. Hyper-active hugging Lee and Gai. Little did they know, Gai was plotting. 

"My youthful students! Today you must work together to destroy this tree!" Gai announced excitedly, pointing to a nearby tree, which happened to be quite thick.

"Fine," Neji replied with a bored voice. He activated his byakugan, Tenten pulled out a sickle, and Lee stood in his "awesome stance".

"I'll do my best, Gai-sensei!" Lee promised. Gai stared to cry in happiness.

"You're making the best of your youths! Begin, my students!" Gai commanded, still in tears. Tenten was about to slice the tree with her weapon, but Neji pushed her down and out of the way.

"I said to use team work!" Gai shouted. He punched Neji, sending him flying. Tenten threw a kunai at him, which barely missed his neck, but cut some of his hair.

"My hair," Neji whispered to himself. "My. Poor. Hair."

"Tenten! How could you! He's your teammate!" Gai seemed horrified. Tenten ignored him. Neji left to go home early to mourn his hair and Tenten just left because she felt like it. "Lee I have to talk to you about something," Gai whispered energetically to his youthful student.

At five o'clock the next morning, Neji, Lee, and Tenten were waiting at their usual training spot for Gai.

"I wonder where Gai-sensei could be?" Lee asked himself and his teammates in a tone that suggested that he knew exactly where their sensei was.

"Stop pretending Lee," demanded Neji with a slight trace of an urge to kill Lee .

"My youthful students!" Gai interrupted at the best time. "Please bite your thumbs! I want to try this jutsu I heard about!" Lee immediately chomped off a centimeter of his thumb.

"Why?" Neji and Tenten asked in unison.

"'Why?' you ask? Because this jutsu requires the blood of three different people, of course!" Gai explained.

"Then you, Lee, and Tenten can all do it. I'll stay out." Neji stated.

"BITE YOUR THUMB, NOW!" bellowed Gai. Neji bit just enough to start a small flow. Tenten pulled out a kunai.

"I SAID **BITE** IT!" Gai yelled with spit flying out.

"Whatever," Tenten said, replacing the kunai. She took a small nip in her thumb.

"Excellent job, my youthful students. Now hold out your thumbs," Gai said satisfied. They all held out their thumbs except for Lee, who extended his arm as close to Gai as possible.

Gai performed a few hand seals and collected blood from each of them on three of his fingers. He then made a fist with his right hand and held it up in front of the group and slowly opened it. For a moment, they saw a glowing blue light coming from his hand, and then they blacked out.


	3. Insane Twitching and Guessing Games

Sorry about the wait. If you haven't reviewed, please do so! I love reviews! Enjoy.

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It was about six when Tenten got up. Or was it Tenten? She had awoken in the most comfortable bed she had ever slept upon. But how did she get there? She slid out of the bed and realized she was under five feet. Tenten freaked out and reached for her comfort kunai that she would spin on her finger when she was scared and found she was not in her pajamas. She looked down to see that she was wearing a soft teddy bear nightgown, not her shuriken print shirt and pink shorts. Tenten looked in the mirror to find a short girl with big eyes and light brown hair that went slightly past her shoulders.

"OH MY GOD, I HAVE BREASTS!" was the first thing she heard that morning. Tenten ran down the hall into another room to find a terrified girl with long black hair, sitting upright on her bed.

"What kind jutsu did Gai use?" Muttered the girl to herself. She collapsed on her bed and started twitching.

_Neji? _Tenten asked in her mind. She was starting to understand what was going on. Before she could dwell upon it, a group of girls came in. There was a tall one with long brown hair and glasses, a normally-sized one with green hair, another about her height with short brown hair, a slightly taller girl with hair that reached a few inches past her shoulders and curled in, a tanned girl with short spiky hair, and an adult: she had short dull black hair except for two strands in front of each ear. They all looked sleepy except for the green-haired girl.

"Miss Sakaki, did ya just realize that?" asked the girl with the curved-in hair to the black-haired girl who was now in the fetal position on her bed. "We knew all along!" There was an awkward silence.

"I need to talk to her alone," announced the green-haired girl to the group of females.

"About what?" asked the girl with the short brown hair. She seemed to be a little mad for some reason or another. But in the end, they all shuffled out, probably back to bed except for the green-haired girl, the one who was apparently "Sakaki", and Tenten. She remained standing there because she wasn't quite sure what was going on. The green-haired girl noticed that she was confused and smiled.

"My job just got a lot easier," the green-haired girl whispered to herself. "Just to make sure," she spoke louder, "Look, a kunai!" pointing in a random direction.

"Kunai? Where?" Tenten jumped up, looking in the indicated direction, and became disappointed when she found no kunai.

"Hi Tenten-chan!" the green-haired girl greeted Tenten happily, hugging her.

"Hi Lee," responded Tenten in a relived voice. Lee gasped.

"How did you know?" he asked dramatically.

"You called me 'Tenten-chan' and Neji never says anything happily," Tenten replied.

"Does Neji call you 'Tenten-_chan_' then?" Lee asked.

"Er, that's not the point!" Tenten said quickly with slight frustration. "What's going on?" (1)

"The wonderful Gai-sensei decided to set up an exercise for us that will help us both in improving our skills at being able to pick up a new identity during an undercover mission and teamwork," Lee explained with stars in his eyes. "Before I continue," He added while the stars faded, "let me wake Neji up. This should be him. If not, this is some demented girl who just realized that she-" Lee stopped himself and looked at the girl Tenten was residing in. "Um, never mind," He finished, sweating slightly.

_If he'd finished his sentence, I would've killed him, _Tenten thought, but then she realized that she possessed no weapons, so the homicide would have been less enjoyable. Lee skipped over to the bed with the girl was twitching and placed his hands on the girl's shoulders. All of a sudden, he began shaking her violently up and down with his inhuman strength.

"Wake up!" Lee screamed in a voice at could be heard at a two-mile radius. The girl shot up with wide, blood-shot eyes.

"I'll kill you!" She screamed and reached at the side of her thigh, just where a shuriken holster would have been.

"Hey Neji," Tenten said in a casual tone, with a trace of boredom as she waved weakly to him.

"How the hell do you know me!" The Neji demanded. He was obviously mad.

"Easy, I'm your teammate," Tenten replied with a snort.

"I'm your teammate too! Guess who I am!" Lee said excitedly as he raised his hand.

"You're Lee," responded Neji instantly. Lee gasped.

"How did you know!" He questioned.

"I just know," Neji answered. "And you're Tenten-chan," commented Neji as he nodded towards Tenten. Lee gasped dramatically. "But what I **don't** know is why the hell I have breasts!"

"**I'll** explain!" Lee announced. "Gai has sent us on a youthful training exercise! To practice for undercover missions!" Lee was too happy. He looked even happier in Tomo's body. Maybe not happy, but insane. More insane than usual.

"In other words, we swapped bodies with people of a parallel universe," Tenten clarified. "But how do we get back?"

"I knoooooow!" Lee sang.

"Stop acting so happy, Lee," Neji demanded. Lee ignored him.

"Gai-sensei told me that we have to creatively invent a new technique using our existing techniques to create a void that will reverse the effect!" They all sat there with blank expressions on their faces.

"That's stupid," Neji commented.

"So for example, I could use my Soushoyruu, you can use your Konoha Sempuu, and Neji could, er..." Tenten started to say to Lee but stopped. "What can Neji use? The kaiten would kill us if we were near," Tenten concluded. (2)

"That's a good point. The Konoha Sempuu and the Soushoyruu would work well together," Lee grinned. "This time, it's Neji who's in the way!" They laughed and pointed at Neji. Neji wasn't paying attention.

"WHY THE HELL DID I END UP SWICHING WITH A BUSTY TEENAGER?" Tenten threw the nearest object at him, it ended up to be a heavy math book.

"Quiet, you loser!" Tenten whispered. "We don't want those girls to know!"

"Girls?" Neji said in a monotone. His eyes were wide. He hugged himself and resumed twitching.

"Yes," Lee answered. "Gai-sensei told me before we left that we were switching bodies with three high school graduates on vacation. They are going back to school in a few days, so we better hurry up with finding a way home. He also told me about who the girls are," He sat on the end of the bed. "Neji, you are apparently Sakaki, a quiet, cat-loving athlete. Tenten, you are definitely Chiyo. She is a short, cute genius and she **always **wears her hair in high pigtails, so please do so," you could tell Gai had lectured him for hours on these people. "And I am Tomo Takino, hyper-active, crazy girl!" he announced as he punched the air.

While Lee explains who the Azumanga Diaoh cast are to his teammates, let's check up on their bodies with new hosts. So meanwhile back in Konoha...

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Next time: How do you think Chiyo, Tomo, and Sakaki would adapt in the ninja world? What if Akamaru attacked Sakaki! Remember, the author lives on reviews! Hint, hint

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Notes: (1) "-Chan" is an informal title, used with friends. Most (or at least myself) would probably think Neji refers to Tenten with "-san", a more formal title.

(2) Let's just say the Kaiten wouldharm them if they were close. Maybe it would, but...


	4. Explanations

I again apologize for the delay between chapters. Please review!

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Sakaki awoke slowly that morning, feeling like a truck had hit her. Rubbing her forehead, she felt something strange wrapped around her head. _Am I in the hospital? _She looked around the room. It was not her room, but it certainly wasn't a hospital room. The floors were coved with expensive looking tatami. Large shuriken and a wall scroll that read, "Hyuuga" decorated the walls. Confused, she got up off the bed and saw out of the corner of her eye a boy in a connected room. Sakaki walked to ask him what was going on. He walked towards her. She stopped at the doorway to avoid a collision with him, he stopped as well. Then Sakaki realized that it was no door; it was a mirror.

"Oh my god!" she whispered to herself, clutching her head with her hands and looking down. Sakaki looked up at the mirror slowly and took another look at the boy. He had long, dark hair, white, pupil-less eyes, and a weird mark on his forehead. Above it, was a bandage-wrap with a black strap that wound around his head, draped two straps in front of each ear, framing his face and reaching down to his collarbones. He was wearing an oversized grey t-shirt with the word "Hyuuga" on it, and black, shuriken-print shorts. She slopped down on the bed she had awoke in to take a breath and what happened next would emotionally scar her for life. Hanabi came in and molested her. The author was a victim of first-degree murder from Hanabi and Neji fans. Would you really think I would write that! Can't you take a joke? What really happened was this: the next thing she heard was a window crash. Not just any window, but the window six feet away from her. There was a grown man in a green **spandex** body suit, orange leg warmers, and a vest. His shiny hair looked like it was cut with a bowl and his eyebrows were **alive**. Under each arm were two teenagers. Under his right there was a boy who looked like is clone, minus the vest. Limp in his left was a girl with brown hair wrapped in two buns, in a pink Chinese top and navy blue Capri's. The two both had horrified looks on their faces.

"Don't worry," The bowl-cut man tried to assure her. "I know you're not from this world!" he declared.Sakaki was horrified. "I'm Maito Gai! Please," he continued, "tell me who you are," he dropped the two to the floor and did his famous pose. She was even more horrified.

"Sakaki," she whispered out of fear.

"Oh youthful Sakaki," Gai said dramatically, "allow me to explain!" And so he did.

After the fifteen minute lecture, Sakaki learned that they were in the bodies of shinobi. She had switched bodies with Hyuuga Neji, who possessed the bloodline trait byakugan, Tomo had switched with the Gai-clone, Rock Lee, and Chiyo had switched with Tenten, the coordinated weapons master. Gai was their sensei; he was going to "improve their youths" by training them to be shinobi from dawn to dusk until they were switched.

"Hell yeah! This is my opportunity to shine and be the best ninja ever!" Tomo yelled as she punched the air.

"Yes, the Springtime of Youth is alive in you already!" Gai exclaimed and did the pose, complete with the teeth shine.

"Yes, sir!"

"Tomo!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Tomo!"

"Gai-sensei!"

The two embraced as metaphorical waves crashed in the background while Sakaki and Chiyo watched with rounded eyes. As the student and teacher hugged each other, Tomo had a quick glance into the mirror. There were two black hamsters above her eyes. She stared at them for a bit more. They weren't hamsters.

"MY EYEBROWS!" Tomo clutched her eyebrows dramatically.

"They are just an accent to your youth!" Gai explained. "They're wonderfully youthful!"

"That's a load of-" Tomo was cut off by Gai's loving punch.

"Tomo!" Gai started.

"Gai-sensei!" Tomo replied, blood flowing of out of her nose.

"Tomo!"

"Gai-senseiiii!" Tomo punched Gai in the face as he lunged towards her for a hug.

"Um-m, what do we do now?" Chiyo asked Gai, stuttering.

"We train of course!" He ran over to Neji's closet and pulled out a short-sleeved jacket and pants. "Put these on, youthful Sakaki!" Gai threw the clothes at Sakaki's head along with a holster and a steel-plated headband. "We'll wait for you outside," their new sensei dragged Tomo and Chiyo out the door. Sakaki changed into the clothes quickly, but she had no clue what to do with the holster and the headband so she carried them. Stepping into the hallway, she saw a girl with the same eyes as Neji, navy blue hair, and a hooded jacket.

"O-o-ohayou, N-neji-niich-chan," the girl greeted her nervously.

"Ohayou," Sakaki replied. _What a cute girl. _"Kawaii!" she muttered under her breath.

"S-sorry, n-niichan?" the girl asked. "What-t d-did y-you say?"

"Nothing," Sakaki replied quickly. She turned to leave, but realized she didn't know which way was out.

"I, er, don't feel like myself today, could you point the way to the front door?" Sakaki asked nervously. _I hope she doesn't catch on. _The girl looked surprised.

"Y-you could u-use your b-byakugan," the girl advised, pointing the way. It was two doors to the left. Sakaki felt stupid.

"Arigatou," Sakaki called as she dashed away. Hinata laughed softly. Gai had told her what was happening, on his way out.

Sakaki met the three outside, just as Gai had said. She looked down at the headband and the holster.

"Let me help you!" Gai offered. He tied the headband into place and secured the holster onto her thigh. Sakaki hoped that he had helped Tomo and Chiyo earlier that morning as well.

"That's strange," Gai observed. "you're the only one I had to help!" Sakaki blushed. Seeing Neji blush was too much for Gai. He collapsed and started to laugh hysterically.

"Don't feel so bad Sakaki, I've seen a lot of ninja movies!" Tomo attempted to comfort Sakaki.

"And I've read lots of ninja books from the library," Chiyo added, almost embarrassed. Sakaki didn't look any better.

"Let's go, team!" Gai sprinted off to the training area. Tomo, Chiyo, and Sakaki didn't even try to keep up. They just waited there until he realized that they weren't with him and he turned back. As they walked to the training area, Sakaki spotted a white puppy passing by. She decided to take action. Sakaki stopped and reached down to pet the dog. Her hand was trembling.

"You want to pet him?" The voice sounded surprised. Sakaki jumped. "I didn't know you were the type to like animals." Sakaki turned around to see a boy with messy brown hair and a long red triangle under each eye.

"Can I pet him?" Sakaki asked with determination. The boy blinked.

"Sure," the boy answered slowly with suspicion. Sakaki rubbed the top of the dog's head, between the ears. He barked with glee. She smiled.

"Um, Neji doesn't feel like himself today," explained Chiyo. "I got him in the head with a kunai."

"Ah," sighed Kiba. "That makes sense." He began to relax, as if he had thought Neji was going to murder Akamaru.

"That was excellent, youthful Chiyo-chan!" Gai praised, once they continued on.

"It was nothing!" Chiyo said modestly, rubbing the back of her neck. They walked for at least ten more minutes and reached their destination.

"We're here! Can't you just smell the youth?" Gai asked cheerfully.

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Next time: Tenten plus cooking equals disaster! Also, the Azumanga Diaoh bunch and the three shinobi hit the beach, but how are Neji and Lee going to change into bikinis? Bloody noses, guaranteed!

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I thank everyone who reads/comments on/supportsthis story. Without you, I would just force my friends to read and worship my work! Muh ha ha!


	5. Pervert! Stop Looking At Yourself!

A big thanks for the people who waited patiently! Also, I changed the title recently, so I'm sorry if I caused any confusion!

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Let's check up on our ninjas who are posing as college students.

"So, let me get this straight," Neji said, contemplating. "The spacey one is Yomi, the tall one with the glasses is Osaka, the crazy teacher we haven't met yet is Yukari, the athlete-"

"You mixed up Osaka and Yomi, but I think you have the general idea," Lee interrupted.

"Okay, I'm the child prodigy, you're the insane, hyper, constantly sugar-high girl, and Neji's the tall, quiet one?" Tenten asked.

"Exactly," Lee answered. "Let's go have our youthful breakfast!" Lee got up and skipped off to the kitchen as Neji and Tenten followed at a slower pace.

Everyone was having pancakes when our undercover shinobi arrived downstairs.

"You're late so you'll have to make your own pancakes," Kurosawa reported to them. The three exchanged glances. They had never made a single pancake in their lives.

"Chiyo-chan," Yomi said, "you're the best pancake flipper I have ever known. Can you make me one?" Tenten gulped. She had seen her mother make _a_ pancake before, about a year ago. She had no choice but to try.

"Um, sure, Kaorin," Tenten answered. Lee lightly elbowed her and shook his head. "No, wait, you're... Osaka?" Lee mentally kicked her. Tenten thought for a minute. "You're Yukari!"

"You're kidding me," Yomi said. Tenten started sweating.

"Yomi?"

"That's right; I'm Yomi," Yomi responded slowly.

"Score!" They all stared at Tenten. "I'll make the pancakes now. I'll make some for you too... Tomo?" Lee nodded. "Sakaki?" Neji nodded with a disturbed look on his face. Tenten turned to the stove and stared at the batter like it could attack her at any minute. She picked up the spatula and turned on the stove. _Calm down, don't let it provoke me._ She poured the batter. It splattered on her. _DON'T PROVOKE ME! _Neji and Lee sat at the table, wondering how this was going to turn out. Tenten flipped the pancake prematurely. It looked like messed up scrambled eggs. "Just a minor setback," She announced to the group, sweating. _I just need it to sit longer on the stove._ She dumped the mutated pancake in the trash can and re-poured the batter on the stove. Tenten stared into the frying batter.

"The weather is just amazing today," Kagura noted, staring out the window. "We should go swimming today. Is that alright with you, Chiyo-chan?" Tenten was too busy paying attention to the bubbling batter. "Chiyo?" Kagura repeated.

"Mm?" Tenten replied, only after Lee got up and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Is it okay with you if we go to the beach today?"

"What beach?" Neji mentally stabbed her and threw her out the window. Lee coughed very loudly. "Oh, sorry, it's the pancake," Tenten covered up. "That's fine with me."

"Chiyo-chan, don't ya think ya should flip tat 'cake?" Osaka asked. The pancake was smoking violently.

"I smell a potential kitchen fire," Yukari commented, her head resting on the table, half asleep.

"Oh no!" Tenten cried. She switched off the stove and cooled down the charred pancake before throwing it away.

"You should let me do it," Kurosawa offered. Tenten was twitching.

"ONE...MORE...TIME!" She had a small kitchen fire in her eyes. Kurosawa decided to let her have a second chance. If had she turned the 'on' switch harder, it would have twisted off. The mentally disturbed kunoichi plopped the perfect amount of batter onto the frying pan, like she was trying to kill it. There was a murderous look engraved on her face as she paid close attention to the amount of bubbles in the batter. Without warning, she swiftly slipped the spatula under the batter and twisted her wrist. The entire population of the room was watching carefully. The pancake was golden-brown. After allowing the second side to cook, she flipped it high in the air, grabbed a plate, and caught the pancake, cooked to perfection. The content kunoichi slid the pancake down the table to Yomi, who was dumbstruck. "How can someone look so cute and lethal at the same time!" Yomi asked herself. Tenten made three more pancakes for herself and her teammates. As they ate, they talked about what was going to happen that day.

"First, we'll go swimming," Kaorin started.

"Then, we'll swim some more!" added Kagura.

"Then, we'll run 700 times up and down the shoreline!" Lee suggested excitedly. All was quiet.

"You can try," Kurosawa sighed.

"After that, I suppose we'll have lunch," Neji threw in.

"Who's packin' lunch!" Osaka called out.

"Not me!" Lee said quickly, using his youthful shinobi reflexes.

"I refuse," Neji stated.

"I've had enough cooking today," Tenten said, as if someone would have forced her.

"Nope," Yomi said blankly.

"Never!" Kagura shouted.

"Count me out!" Kaorin cheered.

"I'll pass," Kurosawa said cheerfully.

"Not me!" Osaka said with her slow reflexes, a full five seconds after Kurosawa.

"Yukari," Kurosawa said with her lips curled into a smile. "You're packing lunch."

"Oookay," Yukari responded, still half asleep.

"We just have to get her up," Kurosawa smiled. "Okay, Osaka."

"Yeah!" Osaka went to the sink an grabbed the dirty frying pan. She shuffled swiftly over to Yukari and raised the frying pan.

"Don't do it!" Tenten screamed. Osaka banged the frying pan with a wooden spoon, waking Yukari up. Tenten looked down in embarrassment.

"Pack our lunches, Yukari," Kurosawa demanded.

"Tch, fine," Yukari rose and snatched the phone. She punched a series of numbers and lifted the phone up to her ear.

"Is this Pizza Pig-out?" Yukari asked. Pause. "Three larges. One pepperoni, one cheese, and one anchovy." Pause. "Delivery." Pause. "The Miyahama summer home. You've heard of it, right? Good."

_How rich is this Chiyo?_ Tenten asked herself.

"Twenty minutes," Yukari announced. She sat back down and set her head back onto the table.

"Let's get changed while we wait," Yomi suggested.

"Excellent idea, Yomi!" Lee cheered. He ran upstairs.

"I refuse," Neji stated. Tenten jabbed him with her elbow.

"Blend in," she muttered.

"Fine." They all arose and went upstairs. The three all found bathing suits; Lee found an electric blue bikini, Tenten found an orange one piece, and poor Neji found a skimpy black bikini with spaghetti straps. That's right a skimpy bikini with spaghetti straps. Neji sat on a chair in Sakaki's room with the bikini on the bed. He was having a staring match with it. _I can't change into it! This is a girl's body! _Finally he picked it up and went over to Lee's room. When he arrived, Lee was in the bathing suit with two rivers of blood flowing from his nose. Neji said nothing, changed his mind, and went to Chiyo's room. Tenten was already in her bathing suit and examining herself in the mirror.

"Cyuuute!" She squealed and noticed Neji in the doorway. "Can I help you?" Tenten asked ever-so-sweetly. Neji lifted the bathing suit. "Oh. I see," She was less cheerful. They decided that he would be blindfolded and Tenten would help him change. After they did as planned, Neji slowly yanked the blind fold off and looked down. He had an Ebinsu-style nosebleed. "Pervert!" screamed Tenten. "Stop looking at yourself!"

"Chiiiyyyo!" Lee ran in. "Your name is so cute!" He saw Neji in the bathing suit and had a massive nosebleed. Tenten's face turned scarlet in rage.

"Let's just go," Tenten demanded as she dragged the girls with the dried blood running down their faces. They were met by the group, who were in variously colored one-pieces, two-pieces, and bikinis. Kaorin blushed when Neji glanced at her. The pizza was conveniently delivered there and then. The doorbell rang, which Tenten answered. The pizza boy left with a bright-red face, a nose bleed, and a low tip.

"That pervert..." Kagura said with veins popping.

"Let's forget about it and go," Kurosawa suggested. She looked upset to some extent.

"I'll carry the pizza!" Lee offered, trying to pull off a shining grin with his new mouth.

"Just don't eat it, Le-Tomo," Tenten said as she passed the pizza to Lee.

"Don't worry!" Lee cracked open the pizza box and started drooling. Half an hour later, the band of friends found themselves either sitting, swimming, or constructing sandcastles on the beach. Neji covered his front with a fluffy, pink towel. He had already lost his pride. Kaorin was sitting nearby. Lee was splashing in the water and running up and down the beach with Kagura trying to keep up. Kurosawa was sitting on a towel watching the two girls run. Tenten was collecting sharp rocks and shells to make new weapons. Osaka was making a sandcastle with Yomi, who had nothing else to do.

* * *

Next time:

The Azumanga Diaoh girls have to train like shinobi! What kind of YOUTHFUL lunch has Gai packed for them? Wait, those aren't supposed to be green... What would happen if they had to spar with real shinobi- Team Kurenai!

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Thank you for reading this far! I should be able to update more frequently for the next few chapters. If not, don't kill me!


	6. Youthful Training and Green Rice Balls

I told you I would update soon! Ha ha! I get a cookie for being a good updater! I wish... Anyway, enjoy this chapter. I should be posting the next one with in a few days, if not one.

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Let's check up on our new shinobi.

"Throw it harder Chiyo!" Gai went in for a punch.

"Eeeee!" Poor Chiyo. "Sorry, I'll try harder!" She pulled out a new shuriken and prepared to throw it at the dummy. The "prodigy" threw it slowly, like a Frisbee, and hit Tomo. She had a metal star sticking out of her arm.

"Auuugh!" Tomo dropped to her knees and held her arm.

"Lee!" Gai cried.

"I'm Tomo, you idiot!" Lee appeared to scream, to someone who didn't know any better.

"I'm so sorry, Tomo!" Gai was crying.

"Just help me, you freak!"

"Of course." He yanked out the shuriken. Tomo didn't make any noise, but her eyes became rounded and she twitched, gazing into space. Gai had Chiyo and Sakaki spar as he bandaged Tomo's arm.

Gai decided to put them through insane youthful training that they would only forget if he threw a cannon ball at their heads. Why? Because he felt like it. "Twenty laps around Konoha!" He screamed.

"What's a 'Konoha'?" Chiyo asked as her left bun fell out due to Sakaki's kick. Gai gasped.

"Why, Konoha is our beautiful village, so let's get going!"

"TWENTY LAPS AROUND THE WHOLE VILLAGE?" Tomo screamed, coming out of her space-gazing, "ARE YOU KIDDING?"

"I guessed that because you're new, we should start out easy, but if you insist, we can do more..." Gai thought out loud.

"Twenty is good, sir!" Chiyo said quickly, covering Tomo's mouth. And so they began. Fast foreword. They finished one lap in two hours.

"Let's stop running for today," Gai said without any signs of being tired, as if he had just walked up and down a short driveway. He looked behind him. Sakaki was slowly jogging with Chiyo on her back. Tomo was about a quarter-mile behind. This looked odd. It appeared that Lee was struggling to keep up with Neji, who had Tenten on his back.

"Stupid weights," Tomo panted softly as she approached Gai, Chiyo, and Sakaki and collapsed.

They took a break for lunch. Gai had made them "Youthful Rice Balls" for lunch. As he passed them out, Tomo noticed something strange. "Is this rice green?" Tomo demanded.

"Why yes it is, youthful Le-Tomo," Gai said with the famous teeth shine. "Green is the most youthful color, everyone knows that." They all ate in silence, until Sakaki spoke.

"How did you get it green?"

"That's an excellent question, Sakaki!" Gai said cheerfully. "First I took my old socks, then­-" He was cut off by the sound of Tomo choking. The girls decided against finishing their rice balls. After confirming that the green tea was normally brewed, they rehydrated themselves to finish the day's training.

"Okay! Taijutsu!" Gai yelled. It was the most convenient time for team eight (Kiba, Hinata, and Shino) to come in on their training.

"I can't believe Kurenai ditched us to go gambling with Tsunade-sama!" Kiba said angrily to Hinata as they walked into the training ground.

"I-It wasn't t-too nice, I-I'll admit," Hinata stuttered, "b-but I think sh-she needs a b-break after th-that last m-mission."

"Yeah, right," Kiba commented sarcastically. Akamaru barked in agreement.

"Youthful Hinata, Shino, and Kiba! What a pleasant surprise!" Gai greeted. Kiba ignored what he said.

"Kurenai ditched us and left a note; we're training with you today," Kiba explained with a dash of annoyance. He knew how hard this team trained. Just then, he had a mental image of himself, Hinata, Akamaru, and Shino all in green body suits and orange leg warmers. He cringed.

Gai smirked at his team, signing, "Don't mess this up." He thought it would be suspicious if training comprised of teaching Lee how to kick, so he dove into sparring matches. For variety, he paired Kiba with Sakaki, Shino with Chiyo, and Hinata with Tomo. Not knowing the strength of their opponents, Sakaki, Chiyo, and Tomo faced their partners, ready to spar.

Inner-Hinata was rejoicing. _It'll look like I won against Lee after this is over! Hell yeah!_ Unlike her teammates, Hinata had been told exactly what happened to Tenten, Neji, and Lee, for those who cannot remember that far back. Hinata giggled.

Kiba looked out of the corner of his eye at her. He was shocked. He thought she would have been a nervous wreak, about to spar against Rock Lee, taijutsu specialist. Kiba faced his opponent. Neji. _This'll be hard._ _But this is my chance to avenge Hinata for their preliminary match!_

Shino stared blankly at Chiyo, who was shaking uncontrollably. _That's right; cower before me!_ Shino had drank way too much coffee this morning, curtsy of that coffee shop gift card Kiba just had to give him last Christmas. Shino being Shino, only his inner-self was hyper. _Just block the weapons, she has no other skill! _Ouch, that's got to hurt.

"Let your youth be your weapon! Begin!" Gai instructed. No one moved. Except Tomo.

"Yeeeeaaaaah!" Tomo's battle cry echoed throughout the forest and caused birds to scatter across the clouded sky. Her charge was slow. VERY slow. At least for a shinobi. Out of surprise, Hinata held out her palm and closed her eyes. She gentle-fisted Tomo. Tomo flew backwards and hit a tree, knocking her out. That day was not Tomo's day.

"Winner: Hinata!" Gai shouted, crying.

_Didn't see that coming, _Shino thought as he turned his head. He felt a bird land on his shoulder. But when he went to look, he saw it was no bird it was Chiyo. She tried to punch him. Chiyo pulled her fist back and kicked him in the elbow. She might was well have thrown a pillow at him. Shino called upon his bugs. They flew out of his ears. Chiyo blacked out from shock.

"Winner: Shino!" Gai cried. "Tenten! You could have done better!" Kiba was watching the pathetic matches, when he faced his opponent to be given a heart attack. It would have appeared that Neji was giving Akamaru a belly rub. _Tenten must have hit him hard,_ Kiba thought. _He's wide_ _open! _He sprinted over and kicked Sakaki in the head. Or at least he thought he did. Sakaki's free hand was gripping Kiba's ankle. "Akamaru, now!" Kiba ordered. Akamaru chomped on Sakaki's hand Azumanga Diaoh-style.

_Even here, too, _Sakaki thought. She started crying. At the sight of Neji crying, Kiba was in shock. Nevertheless, he was able to kick her in the head successfully this time to knock her out.

"Winner: Kiba," Gai whispered, grasping his head, looking to the ground, and crying Niagara Falls.

Kurenai's team assisted Gai in bandaging up his students and delivering them to their homes as a "youthful mini-mission". Naturally Hinata gave Sakaki a piggy-back ride back to their house; they were going to the same place, after all. She deposited Neji on his bed, not bothering to tuck him in. It's not like he could get her back for it. Heh heh. Hinata turned and shuffled to her own room, across the hallway.

Shino was assigned to bring Tomo home. Gai knew that Shino would be more careful with Lee's body than Kiba would. After a quick journey to Lee's house, Shino dumped Tomo on Lee's doorstep, rang the doorbell, hoping his parents were home, and ran away.

Kiba was assigned to bring Chiyo home by default. Kiba followed Gai's directions and found himself at the doorstep of an ordinary-looking house. He knocked at the door and a woman answered. She had two buns sitting on her head. She glanced down at Chiyo and stared at Kiba as if he had just raped her child. Kiba caught on to this. "Tough training," He answered quickly. The woman looked relieved and received her daughter. The woman was about to close the door when Kiba asked a question. "Wait. Everyone on my team has wanted to know for a while," He started. "What's your last name?" The woman smiled. A huge, diesel truck that created a massive amount of noise passed by. Kiba with wide eyes was staring at the woman with his mouth open. She was smiling. "So that's her last name! I should have known."

* * *

Next time:

Neji and Tenten begin plotting their way back home and Neji gets anchovy bits stuck to him.

_"Weapons are so fun! Weapons are so fun! Now it's time to take a break and and see what we have done!"_

_

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_

Remember: I love reviews! They make me want to **update more often**!


	7. Anchovy!

This chapter is very, very short and make little to no sense. Please forgive me!

* * *

Lets check up on our blood-stained perver- I mean shinobi.

Tenten was sitting next to Neji, attaching rocks and shells to sticks by wrapping twine around them. She was singing a song. "Weapons are so fun! Weapons are so fun! Now it's time to take a break and see what we have done!" (1) Neji assumed the girl's small body was getting to her. He snorted and picked up a set of materials. Tenten swore she heard him humming the song. Kaorin was still nearby, watching Neji in the shadows. Being ninjas, Tenten and Neji already knew. Neji shot her an evil glare and she jumped up and ran away, crying. Neji laughed evilly. How cruel.

"How the hell are we getting out of here?" Neji whispered to Tenten. He was practicing chakra control in his new body by breaking sticks with jyuuken. (2)

"I don't know. This is going to be difficult," Tenten whispered back. "All your techniques are violent and uncontrollable." Burn. "I've been thinking, we can just teach you a new technique."

That would be a lot of work. Next thing you know-" He cut himself off. "We don't want to give **her** ideas," he finished, pointing to the author, who was hiding behind a sandcastle with a notebook, which she was rapidly scribbling in. She looked up, seeing that they noticed her with their mad ninja skills, and ran off. Neji looked up. Lee was then violently sparing with Kagura.

_I hope the nearest hospital isn't far,_ thought Tenten.

"It's time to eat lunch!" shouted Kurosawa, waving to them. She then turned to Lee and Kagura and delivered the same message. They assembled on towels into an indistinct shape around the pizza boxes.

"Who ordered the anchovy?" Yomi asked. No one there really had an affinity for anchovy. They all looked at Yukari.

"I don't know," Yukari said sincerely with innocence.

"I guess she was tired," commented Kurosawa. Avoiding the anchovy, everyone grabbed one to two slices of cheese or pepperoni pizza. Except for our little Osaka. She was stuck with the anchovy. With her goofy smile, she picked off the anchovy bits and tossed them in front of her. Osaka didn't see what was in front of her, but she heard the screaming.

_Even if he is in a different body, it's fun to see him scream like a little girl and dance around in circles, _thought Tenten. Our poor, innocent Neji had four anchovy pieces sticking to himself. He had jumped up and away from the circle and was dancing in circles to get them off. Lee was trying hard not to laugh; he had a heart. Apparently, Tenten didn't. She was laughing hysterically. Neji was then rolling in the sand. Kaorin sprinted over to help Neji. She reached for the fishy fragments, but Neji was moving too much. He continued rolling, but he moved into the fetal position and was sucking his thumb. It wasn't until Lee threw him into the ocean where he snapped back into reality.

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Notes:

(1) Refering to the "Cooking is so Fun" song from Azumanga Diaoh.

(2) Yes, Neji can use jyuuken in Sakaki's body. My ending won't work otherwise! So let's use our imagination and say that Neji can use his bloodline limit techniques!

* * *

Next Time:

What's Hinata doing with that knife? Oh, no! Sakaki! The training attempts to resume! Also, Chiyo and Sakaki meet Sakura and Ino!

_"Sakaki looked up into the white eyes of Hinata, who had a large kitchen knife in her hand." _


	8. Attempted Murder and a Pairing Debate

I was originally going to submit this part with the previous chapter, but I changed my mind for some reason.

* * *

Let's check up on Gai's new students! Tomo had awoken in a comfortable bed with green sheets. She recognized this bedroom from day one of her body switch with, according to her, "the loser with no tweezers or sanity". Tomo recalled that day... 

_She was awoken by the nearby window shattering due to a green figure plowing through it. You know who this was; it was Gai! He had given her a short explanation, allowed her to change into the spandex bodysuit, took her under his arm, and jumped out the window to Tenten's house. _

Tomo sat up. "It... wasn't... a dream..." she told herself quietly. She fell back down on her pillow. "Damn it all!"

"Oh, Lee! Are you up yet?" A feminine voice was calling from outside the door. Tomo lifted her head to see the scariest woman she had ever seen. She had Lee's eyes, Lee's shiny hair, and Lee's shiny teeth. The worst was that she had his eyebrows.

Tomo's scream woke Chiyo. Obviously, Chiyo was in Tenten's bedroom; there were countless elegant kunai, shuriken, scrolls, katanas, and any other ninja weapon you could think of displayed against the pink wall. Not wanting to face any relatives of Tenten, Chiyo quickly dressed, ran downstairs to the kitchen, where she quickly ate a banana, and sprinted out the front door. Chiyo being Chiyo, she was far too slow and, unknown to her, two people had watched her devour the fruit and travel out the door. "What's up with Tenten-chan, Okasa?" Asked a boy with dark hair, pulled into a single bun and a green Chinese-style shirt. "She usually dismembers her food with her favorite kunai before eating."

"That dog-boy must have **really** done something to her," his mother whispered with anger, as she pulled a large katana out of its sheath, which was strapped to her back. She pulled out the phonebook and looked up "Inuzuka" to look for a certain address.

Sakaki awoke to Tomo screaming as well. She didn't just wake up, she jumped a few inches off the mattress surface. She would have jumped higher, but something was in the way. Sakaki looked up to the white eyes of Hinata, who had a large kitchen knife in her hand. She was standing up on the bed, her legs straddling Sakaki/ Neji. _It's the girl from before!_ Sakaki thought. Hinata blinked with surprise from the screaming of Tomo and Sakaki waking up. She glanced to her knife-bearing hand and whipped it behind her back, jumped off the bed, and shuffled out the door. Sakaki slowly stood up and paced over to the closet where she pulled out the same jacket that Gai had showed her. She changed and cautiously walked to the kitchen. Sakaki pulled out a bagel and devoured it on the way to the day's training session. She didn't notice Hinata following her, armed with a shiny frying pan.

When Sakaki arrived at the forest clearing, Tomo, Chiyo, and Gai were already waiting. She saw a surprised expression on Gai's face and confused looks on Tomo's and Chiyo's faces. They were looking past Sakaki, rather than at her (or should I say, "him"). She slowly turned around to face two eyes that had no gloss, shine, or any sign of joy. Hinata looked like the girl from a horror movie. She was staring at Sakaki with an evil smile. "Next time," Hinata whispered into Sakaki's ear. "Next time." She slowly turned on her heel and paced away.

"Revenge for the chunin exam," Gai explained to them.

"The what?" asked Tomo.

"Never mind," Gai answered. _She must be trying to kill Neji's body while it's weaker with Sakaki in it. _"Oh well, at least she doesn't have anything against my Lee."

"Gai-sensei! I think I'm getting better at kunai throwing! Watch!" Chiyo pulled a shiny kunai out and threw it. It hit Sakaki. "Never mind," She said in a sad voice. At first Gai did nothing to help the wounded Sakaki. He just blinked at her.

"Oh," he said as he tossed a bandage to her. Chiyo absorbed what she had done.

"Miss Sakaki!" Chiyo ran to her side and ripped out the kunai. She dragged Neji's body to the nearest tree and propped it against the trunk. The weapon expert's impersonator pulled the sweaty, bloodstained jacket over Neji's head and began wrapping the provided bandage around her shoulder. Then the worst possible thing happened. No, the kunai did not hit an artery. That would have been tragic.

"I tell you, Sasuke's mine, you pig!" Chiyo didn't recognize the voice.

"I saw him looking at me today, forehead-girl!" She didn't know this voice either. All of a sudden, Gai took Tomo under arm and ran deep into the woods, as if he didn't want Lee's possessor to be scarred for life. Imagine that. He left Chiyo and Sakaki by themselves.

"He obviously was watching you to make sure you wouldn't jump him!"

"Yeah right, Big-brow, you're on his team and he barely talks to you!" Two figures emerged from the forest. They were two girls: one with pink hair and the other was blonde. They continued their bickering until they noticed Chiyo and Sakaki.

"See, Sakura!" The blonde said with excitement to her friend, pointing at Chiyo and Sakaki. "I told you! The NejiTen pairing's the truth!" She continued. Sakura stared at the two sitting on the ground with her mouth open wide.

"I'm still all for LeeTen," the pink-haired kunoichi retorted, crossing her arms.

"Your big forehead must be filled with hot air! Don't you see his bare chest? They're going steady!" The blonde girl was becoming more excited and was giving a good argument. Sakura looked away with a frustrated face. Chiyo and half-conscious Sakaki stared at the two ex-friends.

* * *

Notes: 

The ending was kind of a parody of two of my friends. One of my friends isfor LeeTen and the other likes NejiTen (who is also my editor). I really can't choose between the two, even though I've been writting NejiTen poems...Thiswill have a small part in the future, so don't forget it! No, I'm not going to throw my friends into the story. I personally don't like original character stories (some exceptions).

* * *

Next time: 

Tenten makes popovers! The group decides to go buy some ice cream. Ah! KIMURA!

_"'Sakaki, are ya feelin' my chest?'"_

This next chapter will not be posted for a little bit. My editor and I need to work on Summer homework. Also, I need a break!


	9. Popovers, Perverts, and Ice Cream

I found time to submit another chapter. Enjoy!

It was the day after the beach trip. Neji awoke with a massive amount of tissue stuffed up his nose. Osaka was standing at his bedside with a shiny kitchen knife. He tried to go back to sleep. Then, realized, Osaka was standing at his bedside with a shiny kitchen knifeThe false Sakaki jumped off the bed with a quick, single movement. _Jyuuken!_ Neji thought in his mind as he struck Osaka.

Neji remembered that he had not regrasped his chakra control quite yet, making his attack harmless. He noticed the placement of his hand.

"Sakaki, are ya feelin' my chest? I'm catchin' up, right?" Osaka giggled. Tenten walked in.

"Morning, Ne- I mean Saka-" Tenten started. She gaped at the scene before her.

"Ten- Chiyo! This isn't what it looks like!" Neji yanked his hand down to his side.

"Osaka, go to the kitchen; you can help me make breakfast," Tenten said in a murderous monotone.

"Yeah!" Osaka cheered, throwing the knife up and skipping out the door. Tenten caught the knife by the blade with her thumb and forefinger.

"You freakin' pervert," Tenten whispered with a trace of insanity. She flicked the knife up and caught it by the handle. Neji gulped.

"You know, I didn't lose my accuracy, during the body switch," She smiled as she rubbed the blade with her thumb lightly in a threatening manner. It was not a happy smile.

"Chiyo!" Tenten felt someone hug her from behind.

"Let go, Lee," Tenten ordered in the same tone she had addressed Neji with moments before.

"Lee? Who's 'Lee'?" Tenten mentally shot herself and turned around. "It is I, wild-cat Tomo!" Tenten physically punched Lee.

"You freakin' idiot, give me a heart attack, will you!" She screamed as she threw the knife at him. Lee caught it by the wooden handle.

"Oh Chiyo, your accuracy is excellent!" Lee complemented, sweating and fearing for his life. He glanced sideways to spot a panicked Kaorin in the doorway. Keep in mind,to her it appeared that Chiyo was going insane and throwing large kitchen knives at Tomo.

"I'm going back to bed," Kaorin said quietly, turning on her heel and rushing back to her room. Collecting his scattered sanity, Neji made a suggestion.

"We should probably discuss the technique combining," he suggested, then glanced at Tenten. "You know, if you feel like it," He quickly added, slowly raising his arms in front of him as a barrier.

"You're right, we should," Tenten agreed, rage slipping away.

"I'm always right," Neji really shouldn't have added.

"You're lucky I'm not PMSing," Tenten said coldly.

"To change the topic," Lee said loudly. "I came up with an idea!" He jumped up. "First, Tenten goes on my back, like a piggyback ride," Neji cringed. "Then I jump really high in the air. She jumps upward and off my back and does her scroll twirly thing. Neji will-" Lee gasped for air. "I don't know."

"That was a waste of breath," Neji commented.

"Agreed," Tenten said.

"So what are your great ideas?" Lee asked sarcastically, hands on his hips. Neji and Tenten thought for a minute.

"It's a start," Neji concluded.

"Let's have breakfast," Tenten sighed. And so they did. Last night, Tenten had agreed to be the regular breakfast cook, after her performance with the pancakes. Downstairs, Tenten located a thick, heavy cook book off a shelf. She flipped to a random page in the breakfast section.

"Popovers?" She asked herself.

"I love popovers!" Kagura yelled. "Everyone, we're having popovers!" Everyone cheered. Tenten had no choice but to make popovers.

"So the recipe calls for two cups of flour. Multiply by four, so eight cups." Tenten whispered to herself. "Osaka, open the flour."

"Got it!" She failed to do so. "That paper packagin' is determined." Osaka handed the bag back to Tenten. Tenten pulled with all her might. Everyone sat down, including the more-than-half-asleep Yukari. Tenten pulled out the largest knife she could find. She tossed the bag of flour in the air. The knife was flung at top speed at the bag. There was cloud of white which settled down and revealed the bag pinned to the wall and a healthy stream of flour pouring to the ground. The flour bag assassin collected the flowing flour in a large mixing bowl. All stared. Watching Tenten (or Chiyo, as they think) was like watching anime for forty-eight hours straight. No, not quite. It was like watching the ending episodes of your three top favorite anime series and the greatest touchdown in Super Bowl history at the same time.

With a satisfied, "Hm," Tenten placed the bowl on the counter and took out the measuring cups.

"Chiyo-chan, that looked interestin'," Osaka had a demented smile on her face. The spacey one took out the sugar bag and picked up the knife. Kurosawa quickly stood up and claimed the knife from Osaka. Tenten had managed to ordinarily measure and add the rest of the required ingredients to the batter, to the group's disappointment. Following the directions, she popped the batter in the muffin tinsand placed it into the oven. She then sat down next to Lee.

"Tomorrow we will be going home. You will also be going back to visit your old high school in a week," Kurosawa announced to everyone.

Yukari muttered something in her half-sleep that sounded like, "Dammit all."

Everyone else groaned, except for our shinobi. They didn't know what this meant for their fates.

"Instead of going back to your various schools, you're going to visit the high school as volunteers," Kurosawa continued.

"That author is out of her mind," Yomi commented.

"Yep," Neji agreed.

"What now?" Kaorin asked.

"We do whatever the author tells us to," Lee concluded.

"Great, what a waste of time," said Neji.

"So I guess we'll go back to the beach today," Kurosawa suggested. Tenten looked down the table at Neji and Lee. Blood emerged from Neji's left nostril.

"Maybe we've had enough of going to the beach," Tenten said, glaring at Neji, then Lee, who had a miniature high-pressure blood fountain inside of his nose.

"What are we doing, then?" Yomi asked, passing a tissue box to Lee, but it was knocked away when Lee stood up.

"Let's walk to the ice-cream store!" Lee exclaimed, punching the air. He had just assumed there happened to be an ice-cream store nearby. The gods were on his side that day. Kaorin recalled of a small convenience store that sold ice-cream that she saw on the trip to Chiyo's summerhouse. After a quick poll of the group, it was decided they would go with Lee's suggestion. Tenten, Lee, Kagura, and Osaka all dashed up the stairs to retrieve their wallets. Osaka fell down the stairs. Twice. By now, Yukari was supplied with her sufficient amount of coffee and was wide awake.

After the signal from the timer went off, Tenten passed out popovers to everyone. They spread various jams on the pastries and quickly devoured them. Lee managed to get fifty percent of his popover onto his face, hair and shirt. Yukari stood up.

"That ice-cream's as good as mine!" She cheered, dashing down the dirt-covered road. After challenging Lee to a race, Kagura and her opponent sped off behind the hyper high school teacher.

Kurosawa's series of sneezes oddly sounded something like, "still childish, that Yukari."

"Let's go then," Tenten said.

"But why?" Neji asked.

"The author says so," the master of sharp, pointy objects answered. Neji grunted and strode next to Tenten to the ice cream store. The pair went with out talking for approximately five minutes, until...

"Sakaki, lift Chiyo-chan up onto your back. I want to take a picture," demanded a smiling Yomi, camera in hand. The two comrades turned to each other and stared.

"I refuse," Neji stated as he turned to continue down the street. He was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"Oh, Sakaki-chan," Tenten whispered in a slightly seductive voice. "You know you want to." Neji choked on his spit. With a slight hesitation, he crouched down, only to be knocked down by Tenten's powerful jump onto his back. He eventually came to his feet with Tenten on his back.

"Perfect," Yomi said excitedly, raising the camera to her face. The picture was taken.

_Messing with Neji is fun,_ Tenten thought as she glanced to her teammate as he was releasing her. He was looking down and his face was blood-red.

"Hi, girls!" A demented voice popped out from their left in the bushes. A man jumped out and greeted them.

"Kimura!" Kurosawa screamed. "Get lost!"

"Aw. You're no fun," he said as he paced quickly past Neji, going the opposite direction. Neji felt a hard pinch on his back end. He stopped in his tracks. His face was emotionless. Tenten snatched a home-made kunai from inside her shoe. She threw it at Kimura's head. He dodged it. Tenten blinked. He dodged it. Neji dropped to his knees.

"Father, it's a lovely day isn't it?" Neji whispered to himself in a monotone, his eyes fixed to a single pebble on the dirt road. "What a charming white light, Father," Neji looked straight up to the clouds. "Wait, Father, I'll join you." Tenten kicked Neji in the head, knocking him out.

"Sorry, I don't think she's ever been groped by a man before," Tenten explained to the group. _I hope,_ she added in her head.

"See you tomorrow!" The pervert called as he dashed away.

"SEE YOU IN HELL, YOU FRIGGIN' BASTARD!" Yomi screamed to him. The group continued on. Neji was knocked out by Tenten, so Kurosawa carried him on her back. When they arrived, Yukari and Kagura were on their second ice creams and Lee was finishing his fourth. Lee selected his fifth ice cream, a mint chocolate chip, and the majority of the party picked out and paid for their own. They peacefully consumed their ice cream by the beach and returned to Chiyo's summer home. Poor Neji was unconscious for the whole thing. He was probably looking forward to that pecan ice cream, too.

Next time:

Sakura and Ino take Chiyo out for ramen and meet Naruto.

_"Tenten," Sakura whispered in Chiyo's ear, "I know your secret."_


	10. Sakura Knows!

Please excuse the big gap between updating and the short length of this one.

Neji-Lee-Tenten-Neji-Lee-Tenten-Neji-Lee-Tenten (Yes, that's supposed to be a divider)

After somehow dragging Sakaki to the Hyuuga estate, Chiyo limped back home. Well, she would have, but---

"Hey Tenten!" Chiyo was delayed. Sakura and Ino walked up to her. "We saw you with Hyuuga earlier," Sakura informed Chiyo, as if Chiyo didn't know. Ino rested her arm on Chiyo's shoulders.

"So, how long has it been, I mean, with Neji?" Little Chiyo began to boil up inside.

"It's not like that!" She screamed. "It's not like that at all!" Chiyo turned on her heel to walk away, but she tripped and fell to the ground. Sakura helped her up.

"Tenten, how about some ramen?" The pink-haired girl offered kindly.

"I'd love some! Thanks!" Chiyo walked with her company to a small ramen shop. There was only one customer when they arrived: a blonde boy in an orange jumpsuit who was downing bowl after bowl of ramen.

"Oi, Sakura-chan!" The boy patted the chair to his right, signing Sakura to sit next to him. Chiyo took the other seat next to Sakura, who had heeded the blonde-haired boy's request. Ino sat on the end, next to Chiyo.

"Naruto, how many bowls have you eaten?" Sakura asked as she took her seat. The boy called "Naruto" began to count the pile of bowls to his left.

"Eleven," he answered simply. "I'm trying to break my record!" The cook behind the counter smiled.

"Just don't make yourself explode," Sakura advised as she browsed the menu. After a moment of careful thinking, she ordered the pork ramen.

"I'll have the chicken ramen, please," Chiyo politely told the cook. Ino gasped.

"Tenten, I thought you were a vegetarian!" (1)

"I am?" Chiyo began to sweat. "Oh yeah, silly me! It must have been today's training. My body's screaming for protein!" Ino looked at her skeptically. "I'll have the mushroom ramen, then."

"And I'll have the special," Ino told to the chef.

"Twenty minutes," The cook said.

"Tenten," Sakura whispered in Chiyo's ear, "I know your secret." Chiyo, out of surprise, slammed her head down onto her arms, which were resting on the counter.

"Y-you do!"

"Of course, it was so obvious." Chiyo looked down at her folded arms.

"That's twelve!" Naruto cheered to Chiyo's left. "Miso ramen, sir!" The chef, who was turned to the stove nodded without looking at him. "So, Sakura-chan, are you free Saturday night?"

"I was going to ask Sasuke-kun out on a date!" Naruto's face drooped.

"Sasuke's mine!" Ino said very softly. "Shintenshin no jutsu!" Her body fell backwards off her seat and onto the floor.

"Ino!" Chiyo jumped to Ino's side.

"I mean, I'd love to go out with you, Naruto; Sasuke's such a jerk!" Sakura told Naruto and kissed him on the cheek.

Naruto cheered and embraced Sakura as she whispered, "Kai." Ino opened her eyes.

"Ino!" Chiyo helped her pony-tailed friend to her feet.

"Yes!" Ino breathed as she punched the air.

"Naruto! What are you doing!" Sakura screamed as she pushed Naruto away.

"Sorry, Sakura-chan," Naruto apologized. "Our date's still on, right?" After shooting Ino with a look of hatred, Sakura refused the date. Naruto's eyes began to water. Sakura's face look surprised.

"The date's still on," Sakura reluctantly muttered. Naruto lighted up immediately.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Are you my girlfriend now?"

"Don't," Sakura warned, "press your luck." Chiyo heard the tap on the wooden counter by her hand.

"Your ramen, Miss," The soup was gently steaming at the surface. Various vegetables were bathing in the soup with the thick noodles.

"Itadakimasu!" Sakura and Ino cheered simultaneously.

"Itadakimasu," Chiyo said dully as she sipped at her soup. The soup had a comfortable warm feeling, complete with bonito flavoring and vegetable broth.

"ITADAKIMASU!" Naruto shouted as the bowl of miso and noodles appeared before him. Chiyo watched Naruto attack the poor, defenseless soup, mouth agape. She wasn't halfway done with hers when Naruto slammed the bowl down and ordered a pork ramen. Being distracted by Naruto, she completed her ramen far after Ino and Sakura. They waited patiently for her and watched Naruto consume bowl after bowl with disgusted looks fixed onto their faces. Chiyo and the two kunoichi departed. The day was drifting into dusk so Ino skipped off to take over the evening shift from her mother at her family's flower shop. Sakura offered to walk Chiyo home.

They strolled down the unpaved pathway without much conversation. However, when they arrived to Tenten's home, Chiyo had to get something off of her chest. "So, Sakura," Chiyo began nervously, " y-you know my secret?"

"Yeah, it was obvious, especially after I saw you with Neji the other day. You just didn't look yourself."

"I thought you'd be more shocked!"

"Oh no, I was suspecting it for a long time now."

"Can you keep it quiet please?"

"Of course, but make sure you tell Lee-san eventually. He needs to know." Chiyo paused.

"Wait. What is my secret?" Sakura grinned.

"Your secret love for Lee!" Chiyo almost fell over. "You just didn't look happy with Neji the other day! You spend almost everyday training with him and yet you aren't his girlfriend! You secretly long for Lee, who spends all his time training with Gai and not you!" Without a single word, Chiyo turned around, stepped inside the house, and slammed the door in Sakura's face.

Neji-Lee-Tenten-Neji-Lee-Tenten-Neji-Lee-Tenten

Notes: (1) I made this up.

Neji-Lee-Tenten-Neji-Lee-Tenten-Neji-Lee-Tenten

Next time: Neji, Lee, and Tenten leave Chiyo's summer home with the Azumanga Diaoh crew. Tenten's asked to make waffels? Oh no! Why is she tied up? They can't get the knots out? They get stuck in _which_ car? Will they live?

Neji-Lee-Tenten-Neji-Lee-Tenten-Neji-Lee-Tenten

For the special people who have actually read this far into this story and into the author's notes: I LOVE YOU! Oh, and I'm kind of sad that I have only been getting one review per chapter lately. Reviews really make me feel like I had improved your day with my writting. It makes me want to update more often. Even if you hate the story terribly, I would appreciate criticism to improve my writting. I hate nagging about this... Any way, thank you for reading this far!


	11. Waffles and Muffins

Instead of doing my Summer homework like a good student, I decided to update. I do realize that there are only a handful of people actually reading up to this point, but I'll continue writing this for them. TT Anyway, thanks for over 1000 hits and over ten reviews!

-Neji-Tenten-Lee-Neji-Tenten-Lee-Neji-Tenten-Lee-Neji-Tenten-Lee-Neji-Tenten-Lee-

Hyuuga Neji awoke to Lee jumping on his chest. Neji inhaled sharply and proceeded to torture his comrade. Before he could, Lee had something to say: "Nej-- Sakaki, it was like a trampoline!" Neji looked downward at his shirt-covered torso. The Hyuuga's nose exploded with blood, to the pleasure of most readers. After all, it had been a while since a good nose bleed.

"Lee, never do that again!" Neji reached for Lee's neck, but stopped himself. He needed Lee to get back home. Lee couldn't die yet.

"Okay, Sakaki!" Lee passed him a box of tissues. "I just needed to wake you up. We're leaving early." The Azumanga bunch was leaving that day to return home. "We don't have a choice but to go along with them back home."

"You're right."

"You guys done packing?" Tenten was in the doorway with a pillow and backpack. Both of her teammates shook their heads. "Pack, then! I'm going down to make breakfast." Lee jumped up with an excited expression on his face, and scurried to his room. Inner Neji jumped up like Lee did and grinned a large smile, like a small child would on Christmas morning. Exterior Neji sat on his bed with no emotion on his face.

"Fine," he muttered and began to pick out an outfit.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Tenten asked casually.

"I really don't care."

"Good because were having anchovy muffins." Neji tripped on his own foot. "Just kidding."

"Females." Tenten turned and walked down the hallway. She hopped down the stairs, two at a time. Kaorin, Kurosawa and Yomi were already seated at the table and looking at a cook book.

"Not that one! This one looks better!" Yomi was pointing at a picture of a plate of blueberry scones and arguing with Kaorin.

"This one looks good too," Kurosawa suggested, referring to a picture of pancakes on the opposite page of the scones.

"Yeah, but we already had pancakes," Yomi commented. Kaorin flipped the page.

"What about this one?" Kaorin said excitedly, pointing at a photo of tasty looking waffles.

Yomi's mind immediately jumped to an image of the psychotic cook flinging the waffle iron at Yukari's head when it failed to work. "Waffles sound good," she said quickly.

"Yes," Kaorin agreed as she imagined a similar scenario of Chiyo stabbing a bag of sugar.

Kurosawa raised herself to her feet, holding the book open to the page of the waffle recipe and walked over to where Tenten was standing. "If you don't mind, Chiyo," began the gym teacher with a large smile plastered on her face, "will you make us breakfast?" She held the book out to Tenten with both her hands and tapped the open page with her pinkie.

In her gut, Tenten knew this was going to happen. She bit her lip and put on a chipper face. "I'd love to!" As Tenten took the book and turned to the kitchen to find the waffle iron, Kaorin and Yomi high-fived. Tenten had found the iron in one of the lower cabinets. She jabbed the two-pronged electrical plug into the outlet with tremendous force, and Tenten slid the cookbook over to her side and to the first line. _In a large mixing bowl, combine one-half cup of sugar and three cups of flour. Can't be that hard, can it? _She gathered the suggested amounts of materials and poured them into the bowl she had found. Without looking up from the book, Tenten reached her hand out to the waffle iron to sweep it closer to herself, to pour the thick mixture into it. She miscalculated the position of her hand and brushed the scorching metal with it. "OH MY FUCKING GOD!" The young girl jumped backwards from the counter.

"I never thought Chiyo-chan swore," Yomi commented.

"You're right," Kurosawa confirmed, with a puzzled expression on her face. Tenten gripped her wrist and stared at the burned fingertips, not daring to touch them, as if they were covered with a strong acid. She switched her stare to the steaming iron, which was sitting there innocently. It was too much.

"YOU FRIGGIN' BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU?" Tenten was again letting her anger out on inanimate objects. To the pleasure of Yomi, Kurosawa, Kaorin, and then Lee, Neji, and Kagura, who just joined the group, Tenten began her rampage. "YOU IDIOTIC," Tenten threw the waffle iron across the room and hit the opposite wall, which inflicted a dent on both the iron and the wall. "GOOD-FOR-NOTHING," she ran to it and began hitting it with the toaster oven. "CHUNK OF METAL!" she stabbed it with the large kitchen knife she had used before. The sound of the stainless-steel blade colliding with the metal of the iron made the spectators jump.

"Ten--Chiyo!" Neji cried out, "We need that for breakfast!" He rose from the table and sprinted over to her. The Hyuuga seized her from the behind, immobilizing her arms. "L--Tomo! Take the knife from her!"

"Yes!" Lee stood up, quickly strode to his two teammates, and snatched the sharp, pointy object from his currently psychotic friend (and no, it wasn't Neji). He swiftly placed the knife on the counter and proceeded to help Neji tie Tenten securely to a nearby chair with rope that Neji had conveniently there and then. They bound her like how they would if she was Orochimaru being prepared for interrogation (minus the nails embedded in the rope).

"So," Yomi began gently, "what's for breakfast?"

"Hm," Neji grunted as he paced over to the refrigerator and opened the freezer. After browsing with no care whatsoever, he pulled out a box of frozen waffles and casually tossed it the full ten feet to the table the group was sitting at, just because he was that cool.

"Um, thanks?" Kurosawa half-asked.

Neji gripped the back of Tenten's chair and with a single, swift movement, he lifted the chair with Tenten and twisted his arm so it was behind his back.

"Idiot! Put me down before you drop me!" Tenten exclaimed, trying to squirm out of the bondage. All the same, Neji ignored her and started for the stairs. He motioned Lee to follow him.

"I need to talk to these two alone for a moment, so if you'll excuse us," Neji explained without looking back at them. Lee followed Neji and Tenten, who was whimpering at each step Neji took up the stairs. After all, he was holding the chair by one hand. They turned the corner into Neji's room silently and closed the door behind them. Neji placed the chair carefully on the floor.

"Now, the technique combining--" Neji started but was interrupted.

"Please untie me," Tenten began. She was struggling with the knots. "I can't feel my feet."

Lee kneeled down and started to fumble at the knots. "Neji, the knots are too tight," Lee murmured.

"You must be doing it wrong," Neji criticized. "Here," he kneeled down and examined the knots. He turned to Lee. "You idiot, you messed them up. It needs to be cut now."

"Ah! We don't have a knife, do we?" Lee pointed out. "If we go down stairs and retrieve a knife, it might look suspicious."

Tenten was looking down at her right thigh. She sighed. "I have a kunai I made the other day with me."

"That's great! Can we borrow it?" Lee asked with a breath of relief.

"The problem is," she began, "that the only one I kept­--the only one that turned out okay is," she paused and took a deep breath, "tied high up on my thigh."

"So? Can you get it out for us?" Neji asked.

"Does it look like I can?" she managed to budge her bound hands.

"But that means either Neji or I has to--" Lee stopped. A grave pause filled the room. "Sakaki has longer arms." Lee concluded.

Neji gave him a death glare. He began to pummel Lee in his mind with all of his many grand techniques. Ah, how he would have loved to do at least one of them to Lee, but alas, he couldn't. "Fine," he turned to Tenten. "You won't kill me, will you?"

"It depends whether you hand detours away from the kunai, Pervert," Tenten said angrily.

"I assure you, it won't. My hand isn't tempted," Neji responded, blushing.

"Don't mind him, Tenten," Lee said casually to Tenten, "he hasn't hit puberty yet."

"That explains a lot," Tenten giggled. Neji grunted.

"Which side is it on?"

"The right." Neji lowered his hand to the cuff of Tenten's pant leg. "**My** right, Neji."

"Oh," Neji murmured and switched to the opposite leg. His hand slowly rose up , brushing her leg occasionally. At her knee, he began to violently blush and felt his nose tingle; he plugged his nose with his free hand.

"Whoops! My bad! The kunai is between my breasts!" Tenten admitted. Neji released his grip on his face and blood spurted from his nose. "Just kidding. You're almost there!"

Neji's hand found the handle of the kunai and unlatched it from the duct tape holster. He immediately pulled back as fast as possible and fell backwards onto the floor. A small pool of blood began to form by his head.Lee took the kunai from Neji's limp hand and proceeded to cut away the ropes. When Tenten was free, she and Lee tried to wake the unconscious Neji. First, Tenten slapped the Hyuuga, and Lee shook him gently. Next, Lee hit a few pressure points, and Tenten punched him in the stomach, but Sakaki's impersonator remained unconscious.

"Oh well," Tenten sighed and looked up at Lee. "He's unconscious."

"Yes," Lee responded, looking up at her from Neji.

"He's unconscious," she repeated.

"I see that."

"He's unconscious," she repeated again. A smirk melted upon her face. "Let's give him a makeover."

"No! We can't!" Lee cried with horror.

"Sure we can! Even though he's already in a girl's body, we can still--"

"Okay! Fine!" Lee picked up a brush from the dresser.

"No, no! I was thinking along the lines of..." she raised her hand, which held a pair of scissors; Lee squealed with delight. Tenten propped Neji up in a sitting position and raised the scissors. Neji immediately regained consciousness and whirled around to Tenten. He snatched the scissors away from her.

"Oh yeah, Neji has the ability to sense scissors," Lee explained, "I guess it snapped him out of it."

"Guess so," Tenten said in a disappointed tone.

"NEVER. TRY. THAT. AGAIN." Neji commanded forcefully.

"Well, I can't promise anything," Tenten said in a playful manner. Neji glared at them.

"We must work on our technique!" Lee practically screamed at them.

"Fine," Neji responded, walking over to Sakaki's duffel bag, reaching into it, and producing three muffins wrapped in napkins. He tossed two of the muffins to his teammates. "I snuck them from the kitchen."

"Why, thank you, Neji!" Lee thanked cheerfully.

"Thanks," Tenten stated.

"So, I was thinking," Lee started, " that for our technique we should make something up for Tenten and me and then incorporate Neji's, seeing that he is having trouble using his chakra. We'll have to really work hard to make a new technique for him or to train hard and regain the use of his techniques."

"Yeah," Tenten agreed, muffin spilling from her mouth.

"Hmph," Neji grunted with an unhappy look on his face. "I'm working on getting my techniques back," he muttered to himself.

"Well, I haven't thought of anything," Tenten admitted.

"The same for me," Neji added.

"I guess it's up to me," Lee concluded as he stuffed the remainder of his blueberry muffin into his mouth.

"Guess so," Neji said with a smirk. He finished his muffin with a small bite and lifted the duffel bag onto his shoulder. "I guess it's time to go." Tenten stuffed the remaining half of her muffin into her mouth.

"Yef," she said, muffin impairing her speech. She followed her teammates out the door and down the stairs to see that all of the girls and teachers were there waiting to go.

"We decided the seating arrangements for the trip home," Yomi informed Neji, Tenten, and Lee. "Guess where we put you three." Tenten's stomach flipped over and started to break dance. Osaka giggled.

"Great," Neji remarked sarcastically.

Tenten picked up Chiyo's bag, which she had brought down already, and the group proceeded to the cars. The bags were tossed into the back of Kurosawa's van. With smirks on their faces, Yomi, Kurosawa, Kaorin, and Kagura climbed into the safe car along with Osaka. Neji reluctantly slid into the back of the death trap-- I mean car. Tenten sat in the middle seat, and Lee took the remaining seat next to Tenten.

Yukari then made an announcement before she took her seat behind the wheel: "Okay kiddies, we're going to top last time's maximum MPH!"

"Um, what was that?" Tenten asked nervously.

"Oh, it was just 110," Yukari answered, fixing her seatbelt.

Neji fainted onto Tenten's shoulder. "Miss Yukari, do you have a license?" Tenten asked.

"Of course! But then again, I should get it renewed. I was supposed to do that two years ago!"

Tenten fainted onto Lee's shoulder. Lee's eyes were rounded and he had started trembling. Yukari turned the key. Tenten and Neji both shot up and fixed their gazes on Yukari.

"Yeehaw!" Yukari screamed as she slammed on the gas. The car charged forward and barely missed Chiyo's summer home. It hit a tree, though. Neji whimpered. "Sorry. I forgot to put it into reverse!" She shifted the car into reverse and then pressed her foot on the gas pedal. The car sped backwards and hit the mailbox. "Oh," Yukari stated without surprise. When the car made it to the road, Yukari went insane. Well, more insane than usual. "CHARGE!" She screamed and floored the gas pedal. The car surged down the road. Kurosawa's car then slowly and calmly pulled out of the dirt driveway and onto the road.

-Neji-Tenten-Lee-Neji-Tenten-Lee-Neji-Tenten-Lee-Neji-Tenten-Lee-Neji-Tenten-Lee-

Notes: Yes, I do know that this chapter is random and awkward.

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Next time: Team Gai goes on a mission!

"_Chiyo and Tomo stared at the hokage with motivation, while Sakaki could not look more confused. _

_'You are to retrieve Nara Shikamaru from the top of the mountainside hokage monument. He's most likely lying on top of the Third's head, watching the clouds or taking a nap.'"_


	12. Saving Shikamaru!

Again, I start of the chapter with an apology. Sorry for the gap! I've been busy with history homework!

--Cooking is so fun!--Cooking is so fun!--

Chiyo awoke early that morning, showered, changed, brushed her teeth and hair, and put her brown locks into identical twin buns. Technically, the brown locks weren't really hers. Tenten's mother and brother were still asleep, Chiyo guessed. She made herself two pieces of buttered toast and ate in silence, wondering how long she was going to stay in Konoha. Then Chiyo heard footsteps approaching. It was Tenten's elder brother.

"Hey, Ten," He greeted waving his hand weakly.

"Good morning," she responded after she swallowed.

"Tenten, you've been acting weird lately," Tenten's brother pointed out, pouring himself a cup of coffee. "For example, you usually say to me in the morning, 'G'morinin', Ichi-Ichi-niichan!'" Tenten's brother impersonated.

_So his name is 'Ichi-Ichi'? Tenten's mother has a bad taste in names,_ Chiyo thought.

"Also," Ichi-Ichi added, "I've been hearing rumors about you and that Hyuuga boy."

"Why is everyone fascinated with Tent--- I mean my love life?" Chiyo demanded after taking a large bite of toast. Ichi-Ichi shrugged.

"What about that Inuzuka kid? Mom's been crazy ever since he carried you home," the male version of Tenten asked.

"Who?" Chiyo asked in response.

"Oh well, just drop it." Ichi-Ichi turned on the television.

"Hey--- isn't that Mom?" Chiyo asked, pointing at the screen.

"Yeah," Ichi-Ichi confirmed, taking a better look at the television. A picture of the mother of Tenten and Ichi-Ichi was in the corner, by the anchorwoman's head.

"Late last night, Sachiko, surname unknown, was found trying to break into the Inuzuka residence via the youngest son's (Inuzuka Kiba's) window. She was carrying ninety pounds of various weapons, used mainly for assassination. Sachiko was arrested after the young Kiba's dog, Akamaru, woke Kiba and the family. Kiba's elder sister, Hana, ordered all of their dogs to pin down Sachiko, and notified the police. Sachiko is now being held at the Konoha police department. And now, Pockymaru with the weather!" The anchorwoman said cheerfully. Ichi-Ichi turned off the television. An awkward silence filled the room.

"I'll go bail Mom out. You did it last time," Ichi-Ichi said calmly as he slipped his shoes and green chunin vest on and departed.

Tenten sat there, finishing her toast. She was going to train with Tomo, Sakaki, and Gai that day. She grabbed the bottle of pain killers, just incase, and left the house. When she arrived at the appointed meeting place, the training grounds, Sakaki, Tomo, and Gai were already there.

"We shall start with five laps around Konoha!" Gai yelled to his students. Reluctantly, Tomo, Sakaki, and Chiyo turned and started jogging. At the end of the second lap, Sakaki ended up dragging Tomo and carrying Chiyo. "Pathetic!" Gai screamed in their faces.

"Sorry, sensei," Chiyo whimpered. "We'll try harder next time."

"Yes, you will," Gai said harshly.

The day's training started with Chiyo practicing her aim (she hit the target two whole times out of one-hundred) and Sakaki and Tomo lightly sparring. Tomo was becoming faster and faster.

"Yaaaahhh! Take this, 'Neji'!" Tomo punched Sakaki hard in the arm. Sakaki grunted and fell to her knees.

"Tomo!" Gai screamed as he punched her.

"Gai-sensei," Tomo whispered.

"Tomo!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Tomo,"

"Gai-sens---"

"Okay, I'm stopping you now," an unfamiliar voice came in. It belonged to a tall man with unruly grey hair. "You're scaring my genin." Behind him were Sakura, Naruto, and a boy with black hair, who was unconscious and being carried by Sakura.

"No, just Sasuke," Naruto corrected. "He passed out."

"Anyway," The man said, switching the topic, "we were told to send you to the Hokage's office. She wants to speak to you."

"Thanks, Kakashi," Gai replied. "But before you leave, how about a game of thumb war?"

"Fine," the man answered. "Naruto, Sakura, take Sasuke with you and go to the Hokage's office like we were told."

"Neji, Tenten, Lee, I want you to go with Naruto and Sakura. This could get ugly," Gai said boldly to his relatively new students. Sakaki and Chiyo concluded that Gai was just getting rid of them, as to not be embarrassed when this Kakashi beat him.

"Let's go," Sakaki suggested as she started off with Tomo and Chiyo.

Sakura and Naruto followed with Sasuke. The pink-haired kunoichi made Naruto carry Sasuke since she was getting tired, and walked next to Chiyo. The group walked in silence until:

"Lee, you should go out with Tenten," Sakura said out-of-the-blue, plain and simple.

"Who, me?" Tomo asked, pointing to herself.

"Yeah, Lee, you!" Sakura answered with a smile.

"I'd appreciate it if you would leave my teammates and their love lives alone," Sakaki advised without looking at Sakura.

"A love triangle!" Sakura squealed.

"So, how'd your date with Naruto go?" Chiyo threw out, changing the subject. Sakura stopped in her tracks. Her eyes were rounded.

"We went to the Irachiku's. We both ordered ramen. I was full. He ordered another for himself," Sakura slowly raised her arms into a self-embrace. "He quickly finished that one. He ordered another. He finished that one. He ordered another. He finished that one. He ordered another. He finished that one. He ordered another. He finished that one. He ordered another. He finished that one," Sakura cringed and took in a breath of air. She continued her pattern of words as Naruto added:

"In the end, I had fourteen bowls of ramen," Naruto said happily with stars in his eyes. "After that, I was so full that Sakura had to carry me home!"

"He ordered another. He finished that one and then, he realized he had forgotten his wallet." Sakura gazed at the ground and gripped her sides more tightly.

"Oh Sakura, I'm so sorry," Chiyo said softly to Sakura. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

"LetmearrangeadateforyouandLee!" Sakura blurted out as she shot up and looked at Chiyo. Her eyes were sparkling.

"What?" Chiyo asked.

"Let me arrange a date for you and Lee!" Sakura repeated much slower.

"Sure," Chiyo replied. She looked sideways at Tomo, who wasn't paying attention.

"Hurray!" Sakura cheered, jumping up into the air.

They then arrived at the Hokage's office. Naruto slapped Sasuke awake and Kakashi's team entered. Tomo, Sakaki, and Chiyo waited outside the door.

"Hey, Tomo," Chiyo began quietly, "what's a hokage?"

"A hokage?" Tomo screeched, with much surprise. "Why, a hokage is the head ninja, the ruler of the village!"

"Oh," Chiyo and Sakaki said together.

The group of friends waited patiently outside the double doors until team Kakashi emerged from the office.

"We have a C-ranked mission," Sakura reported to Chiyo. "Wish us luck!"

Chiyo nodded to the girl and entered the office with her teammates. There was a woman sitting at her desk. She had long, blonde hair and her chin was resting on her fingers, which were woven neatly with each other and propped up by her elbows leaning on the desk.

"Ah, team Gai," the woman began with a sigh. "I have a quick and easy mission for you."

Chiyo and Tomo stared at the hokage with motivation, while Sakaki could not look more confused.

"You are to retrieve Nara Shikamaru from the top of the mountainside hokage monument. He's most likely lying on top of the Third's head, watching the clouds or taking a nap."

_Who's Shikamaru? _Sakaki wondered. She reasoned that they would have to ask Gai-sensei later.

"Can't we wait for him to come down himself?" Chiyo asked.

"This was a request made by his mother. He has a load of chores to do," The hokage explained. "There isn't a rush, as long as you do this today," she added.

"Understood!" Tomo said firmly. They all departed and returned to their training grounds to find Gai-sensei curled up in a ball and crying. After treating their sensei to ramen, they were told who this "Shikamaru" person was and that it was safest to use rock-climbing gear to scale the mountainside sincec they couldn't control chakra perfectly.

"Wait at the foot of the mountainside while I go get harnesses from my house," Gai commanded as he raced to his house.

The three waked together to the mountainside, which they could easily see from any point in Konoha.

"Um, Neji, Lee," Chiyo began, clearly showing that she had learned the names well, "I-I'm afraid of heights."

Tomo and Sakaki stopped in their tracks. They both stared at the ground. Tomo jerked her head up.

"Endure it! Let your youth guide you!" Tomo encouraged.

_She's turning into our sensei, _Sakaki thought.

They turned onto a wide street with all sorts of shops decorating the sides. People filled the street. In the distance, at the end of the road, was the mountainside monument. When they passed a weapon or weapon-sharpening store, the sales person smiled at Chiyo, as if they expected her to come in. Chiyo only smiled back and continued to walk with her friends. The mountainside came closer and closer. They passed a handful of people who they hadn't met yet who either waved at them and smiled, or scowled and made an ugly face.

"We really need to meet everyone these people know," Tomo suggested. Sakaki and Chiyo nodded.

When they did eventually reach the mountainside, Gai-sensei was already there with the harnesses and ropes. He was waiting patiently. Well, kind of.

"WHY'D YOU TAKE SO LONG?" He demanded as they came with in twenty feet of him.

Chiyo immediately apologized. Gai accepted the apology and passed out the harnesses. Somehow, they all put on the harnesses without any major problems.

"I'll go first with the rope," Gai announced. "I'll go all the way to the cliff up there," he paused to point out the large shelf right on top of the Third's ear, "and tie the rope down. You will wait for my signal and climb up to where I am. Then I will start the process over, only we will go to the top, understood?"

"Yes, sir!" the shinobi-in-training said in unison.

Gai, without warning, jumped up and stuck his feet to the mountainside using his chakra. Tomo, Chiyo, and Sakaki, of course not fully understanding the power of chakra, started to panic.

"Oh my gosh! I'm dreaming! I'm dreaming!" Chiyo cried as she held her head.

"HOLY FRIGGIN' CRAP! WHAT THE HELL?" Tomo screamed to the sky.

Sakaki did not speak. Her eyes widened and she started to cry. _What now?_ she asked herself. _What now? _

By then, Gai had reached the shelf by running up the side of the mountain. He dropped the rope down. After calming down, which took a total of four minutes, Tomo climbed up the rope. Chiyo went next and Sakaki followed. The locks on their harnesses kept them from falling. Sakaki was halfway up when she noticed that the rope was trembling slightly. She looked up and saw Chiyo was frantically shaking.

"Tenten! Don't look down!" Gai called down to her. "Tenten!" He paused. "Chiyo!"

Chiyo looked up and nodded slowly. Chiyo continued to climb. When she and Sakaki reached the top, Gai untied the rope and used his chakra to walk up the side again. The three friends controlled themselves as they witnessed their sensei defy a basic principle of physics. When the rope was thrown down again, they went in the same order. Tomo made it quickly to the top again, but Chiyo became paralyzed. She refused to move.

"Chiyo! Sakaki! Hold the rope as tightly as possible!" Gai called down to them.

"Why?" Sakaki asked, calling back. She was never answered.

Sakaki and Chiyo both felt their bodies being jerked upwards. Gai had pulled the rope up with a monstrous force. They became level with the top, but their bodies still had momentum. They continued to move upward and slightly forward. The gravity had caught up to them and began to pull them down. Chiyo saw the rock of the monument come closer and closer. She closed her eyes to prepare for the impact. It never came. Chiyo opened her eyes. She was caught by a boy with messy hair pulled back into a ponytail.

"Teh, how troublesome," he said as he put her down.

"Thanks," she breathed as she caught her breath. "Where's Neji?" she asked as she looked around. Sakaki was caught by their sensei. She was then dropped without care.

"You know," Shikamaru muttered, "you can call your teammates by their real names, Chiyo."

"W-Wait! How do you know?" Chiyo asked, stuttering like Hinata.

"When Gai-sensei called down to you and Sakaki using your real names, he had now choice but to tell me what's going on," Shikamaru explained.

After regrouping, they planed the decent.

"Okay, first, I'll go down the rope-" Gai started but was interrupted by Shikamaru.

"That would take too long. It would be easier if we just jumped. We are shinobi after all," Shikamaru suggested.

"They can't," Gai interjected, referring to Sakaki, Chiyo, and Tomo.

"You didn't think I thought of that already?" Shikamaru asked with a smirk. "You take two of them and jump and I'll take one."

"You really are a genus!" Gai commented. He scooped up Tomo in his right arm and Chiyo in his other and jumped.

"Teh, didn't even give me a choice," Shikamaru said hatefully as he crotched down for Sakaki to get on for a piggy back ride. "This is going to be so troublesome. I hope no one sees."

Sakaki got onto his back and wrapped her arms around his neck. _At least I'm in someone else's body, _she thought as Shikamaru jumped off of the edge. Sakaki timed the fall. _One, two, three, four, five, six, sev- _They landed. _Over six seconds to the ground. That's pretty high up. _Shikamaru released her. Gai-sensei was standing under a nearby tree, Tomo was ranting about how much fun falling from that high up was. and poor Chiyo was unconscious, propped up against the tree.

"I'll go do the paperwork for today's mission. You guys can go home," he announced to the group. "Oh, and Shikamaru, can you do me a youthful favor?"

"It depends." he answered.

"I'm counting on you to take Chiyo home. She kind of passed out when I jumped."

"Why me?"

"Thanks," Gai said quickly as he shoved a piece of paper into Shikamaru's hands and ran off. Sakaki and Tomo decided to walk home together, leaving Shikamaru and Chiyo.

"How troublesome," he said as he picked Chiyo up. He looked down at the paper Gai had given him. It was a map. "Thanks a whole lot Gai-sensei. Thanks a **whole** lot," Shikamaru muttered as he headed for Tenten's house.

After an uneventful walk, Shikamaru arrived at Tenten's house. He knocked at the door and a woman answered. Unfortunately for him, it was Tenten's overprotective mother.

"Why the hell does my daughter come home unconscious every day?" she demanded.

"I don't know. Don't shoot the messenger," Shikamaru said coolly as he passed Tenten's body to her mother and turned to leave.

"Wait, young man, I'm sorry. What's your name?" Sachiko asked.

"Shikamaru. Nara Shikamaru," he answered.

"Thanks! Have a nice day!" She took her daughter (or her daughter's body at least) and closed the door. She took a slip of paper out of her pocket titled "People to kill." She wrote "Nara Shikamaru" next to "Inuzuka Kiba."

--Cooking is so fun!--Cooking is so fun!--

Chapter Preview:

Neji, Lee and Tenten are dropped off at Chiyo's home by Yukari.

_"'Tenten, what is this?' Neji demanded._

_'A dog,' Tenten answered._

_'Yes, I know what a dog is. The Inuzuka's live down the street from me,' Neji said, irritated. '**Who** is this dog?'"_


	13. Popsicles!

I am REALLY sorry. That was WAY too long to not update. I pinkie promise to put the next one up this weekend. Yes, another wierd divider.

--pocky-is-yummy--pocky-is-yummy--pocky-is-yummy--pocky-is-yummy-- (Yes, another weird divider.)

Pink and orange paint adorned the sky and at that point, Neji, Lee, and Tenten were becoming drowsy. They would have slept but--

"Yee haw! We're almost at 115!" Yukari called back to our three back-seat shinobi.

Neji occasionally dared to peak out the window in the corner of his eye. Streaks of color whirled by and made him sick. He managed to stop a regurgitation and looked forward. Yukari's eyes were fixed onto the road. She occasionally turned her head to yell profane words and give the finger to other drivers. She took sharp turns and sped past red lights. They hit numerous pedestrians and curbs. There were two police cars following her, but they were both lost after Yukari took a "detour" through a wooded area. It seemed like forever to reached the Miyahama residence. The designated driver had to pry the three out of the car. Earlier, they had planned to have Kurosawa and Yukari drop of their passengers individually and Kurosawa would deliver the bags the next day. Yukari deviated from the plan. She dumped her three passengers onto Chiyo's lawn and drove off. Neji was first to wake up. He turned his head to look what was keeping him from standing up. He found both of his teammates stacked on top of him. Neji found the strength to pull his arm from under the pile. He then shook Tenten's shoulder, who was in the middle.

"Neji," she said in her sleep in response to being touched, "you perverted bitchy jerk."

_Thanks, Tenten, _he thought. He reached up and flicked Lee's head, who was on the top, the lucky bastard.

"Oh my god! Holy crap! What did I do?" Lee screamed as he jumped off of the pile. He took one moment to glance down at what was before him. His two teammates were in a heap before him. Tenten was unconscious and Neji was glaring up at him. Neji pushed Tenten off of him. "Oh, good morning, Sakaki!"

"Good **evening**, Idiot," Neji corrected. He started to lightly slap Tenten on the face. "Come on, wake up," he said quietly to his teammate.

"Psh, yeah, later," Tenten murmured in her sleep.

"Hey, Neji," Lee whispered to his teammate. "She's in a deep sleep."

"Yeah," Neji verified.

"Meaning we could do **anything** to her."

"Lee! How could you think such dirty thoughts?"

"Like playing with Chiyo's adorable hair!!" Lee said happily. Neji fell over. "It's not dirty is it? What were you thinking I was thinking about?" Lee asked.

"Er," Neji muttered.

"Morning!" Tenten greeted after she shot up.

"Good **evening**," Lee and Neji amended simultaneously.

"Whatever," she shook off. She looked around. "Hey, where are we?"

"We're at Chiyo's house," Neji replied.

"How'd you figure that?" Lee asked.

"The mailbox," he answered, pointing to it. There was "Miyahama" printed on the side.

"Oh," Tenten and Lee said together. They sat there for a moment in silence.

"How about we go inside?" Neji suggested. "We won't be shot or anything. I mean, it **is **your house."

They walked up to the front door. Expecting it to be locked, Tenten tried to open the door. It wasn't locked.

"The hell? These people are too careless," she commented, opening the door wider to let herself and her teammates in. "They're not even home." Tenten motioned to the empty driveway.

"There was a locked gate before, well, you know," Neji explained, pointing out the door of the gate, lying on the pavement of the driveway, which had black tire marks.

The three walked into the house. Neji was first to hear the sound of someone approaching. Before anyone could do anything, Lee was pinned down by none other than Mr. Tadakichi and he began to wildly lick Lee's face. "He" meaning the dog, not Neji.

"Tenten, what is this?" Neji demanded.

"A dog," Tenten answered.

"Yes, I know what a dog is. The Inuzuka's live down the street from me," Neji said, irritated. "**Who** is this dog?"

"Mr. Tadakichi," Tenten responded after she pulled the dog off of Lee and found the I.D. tag under the dog's thick fur.

They looked around at their surroundings. They had entered a magnificent hallway with a bold staircase at the end and polished black and gray tiles covering the floor. There were four doors in the hallway: two on the right and two on the left.

"Let's go look around. Tenten, take the right. Lee, take the left. I'll look upstairs," Neji commanded, as if they were on a mission. Well, they kind of were, weren't they? They parted ways and Mr. Tadakichi followed Tenten.

Lee faced the wall to the left, and he took the closest door. It opened smoothly, as expected from a well-maintained house that was owned by a rich family. The room was a kitchen, with pale pink walls were and matching rose granite countertops that shined in glory. An automatic dog feeder sat on the floor, which explained why the dog was alive. He walked over to the humongous refrigerator and opened the stainless-steel door of the freezer side. There were several flavors of gourmet ice cream, frozen vegetables, and a box of popsicles. Lee took out a lime popsicle, took off the wrapping, and placed the frozen treat in his mouth. He threw away the plastic wrapper in the shiny, pink trash can, which was in the corner. There was a door to the left which seemed to lead to the other room Lee was assigned to inspect. If it didn't, it would have defied the laws of physics. He opened the door and stepped into the room. The popsicle Lee was holding in his mouth almost dropped out, but luckily he had caught it with his hand. The room was extremely elaborate. A long, dark, polished wood table stretched the length of the room, with matching chairs surrounding it. A porcelain vase occupied the center of the table and held silk crimson roses. A golden chandelier, void of candles, hung above the vase. The walls were painted an orange-red color, like the color of a sunset. Original still-life paintings hung in even intervals along each wall. On the wall to Lee's left was a door which most likely lead to the main hallway. He open the door to confirm his suspicion: it was the main hall.

Tenten was sitting on the bottom step of the stairs, propping her head up with her hands. She stood when she saw Lee approaching. "So, what'd you find?" she asked.

Lee took out the popsicle out of his mouth. "A youthful kitchen and dining room. What about you?" Lee responded.

"A living room and bathroom. They have a bunch of video games-- in the living room, not the bathroom," Tenten answered, tucking a rebellious section of hair behind her ear.

"Two bedrooms, a few locked doors, and a bathroom," Neji reported, walking down the stairs. "Good work," he praised.

"Where'd Mr. Tadakichi go?" Lee asked.

"He fell asleep on the couch in the living room. Hey, I want a popsicle too!" Tenten whined, looking at the one in Lee's mouth.

"There're a bunch in the freezer," Lee said, holding the frozen treat in his hand. He motioned his comrades to follow him into the kitchen. There, he dug out two popsicles: a bubblegum flavored and a blueberry flavored.

"I'll pass," the Hyuuga said, colder than the freezer itself.

"Don't be like that!" Tenten commanded cheerfully, taking the blueberry popsicle from Lee, unwrapping it, and shoving into Neji's mouth.

"Murfl!" Neji screamed, muffled by the cold snack. Taking it out of his mouth he muttered a resigned, "fine," and took a lick of the delicious frozen treat.

"I'm glad," Tenten said evilly, unwrapping her own and taking a bite out of the tip.

"I was thinking that it would be better it we were all to stay here. It would be easier to practice our techniques in Chiyo's big yard," Neji stated, switching into leader mode.

"Hm," Lee and Tenten agreed, nodding.

"What about Tomo's and Sakaki's parents?" Lee asked.

"You have forgotten that I'm a genius," Neji reminded him, smiling. He pointed at a list of names and phone numbers on the fridge. "Let's call up our 'parents', Lee."

After a few phone calls and persuasive conversations with Tomo's mother and Sakaki's older brother, it was decided that they would all stay at Chiyo's house for the next two weeks. It was nine o'clock by then, so they decided to have a quick dinner. Tenten located leftover rice and dumplings, and they all made their plates, taking turns with the microwave, and gathering around the table in the dining room.

"Fancy," Tenten muttered to herself, surveying the room.

"This is nothing compared to **my **house," Neji announced out loud.

The group ate their dinner, throwing out crazy suggestions varying from running in circles on their hands to juggling kunai. They dumped their dishes in the sink to take care of later and followed Neji upstairs into Chiyo's room. "It would be rude to sleep in Chiyo's parent's room and the guest rooms are locked," Neji told them. "Therefore, we will all be sleeping here," he concluded, motioning to the room they were standing. Chiyo's room was painted a light pink with a thick white rug spread on the floor. Her bed sat along a wall and was covered by flowery pink sheets. A wooden desk, chair, and a white dresser were set up against another wall. A walk-in closet was attached to the room.

"I call the bed!" Lee cheered, jumping on the bed.

"No, Lee, that's not fair," Neji said coldly. He held up his fist. "Rock-paper-scissors. You too, Tenten."

"Rock-paper-sicssors-shoot!" they cried. Tenten held up rock, Lee held up rock, and Neji held up paper.

"Heh, I win," Neji smirked.

"Tenten, we're going to sleep on the floor together!" Lee said excitedly. The word, "together" echoed in Neji's head.

"Tenten, you can have the bed," Neji offered instantly.

"Er, thanks, Neji," Tenten half asked. After a moment of silence she understood. "Oh, thanks, Neji," she thanked sincerely. "I think I'm going to take a bath before going to bed," Tenten announced, taking a night gown out of the dresser and leaving the room.

"What now?" Lee asked Neji after a short silence.

"Let's set blankets out on the floor," Neji said. "Lee, tonight if you come within five feet of me, I'll kill you."

"Of course." They had located a few blankets and a sleeping bag from the closet.

"Do you want the sleeping bag?" Neji asked Lee, holding a green sleeping bag up.

"Why, yes, Neji! I would! Green is such a youthful color!" Lee exclaimed, taking the sleeping bag.

Neji held up the blanket. "Do you still want the sleeping bag?" he asked. The blanket had orange and green stripes with turtles.

Lee gasped. "Oh, Neji! Would you trade?" Lee pleaded.

"No," Neji said, smirking and folding the blanket over his arm. Teasing Lee was **way** too much fun.

Neji set up his blanket next to Chiyo's bed. Lee placed his sleeping bag next to Neji's blanket. They sat in silence on the floor for two or three minutes. Then Neji faced the wall Lee was separating him from. He formed a few hand seals. "Neji, what are you doing?" Lee asked.

"I'm practicing my byakugan. I'm going to try to see through the wall," Neji answered.

"But, Neji! The bathroom's next door and Tenten's--" Lee was cut off when Neji's byakugan activated and Neji's nose exploded with blood. Neji tried to stop the flow by pinching his nose. Lee stood up and passed a handful of tissues to his friend from Chiyo's desk. Neji took them gratefully and held them to his nose hard.

"Tell Tenten and you die," Neji threatened.

"You have my word as a ninja!" Lee promised happily. "Pinkie promise!" he held up his pinkie.

"No," Neji replied.

Neji threw his bloody tissue mess away once the bleeding had stopped. The two male teammates sat in silence until Tenten returned. "Tenten! It was getting so boring with just Neji here!" Lee cried, jumping up and hugging her. Neji made a jealous face.

"Neji, were you being quiet and boring again?" Tenten asked Neji as if she was a mother asking her son if he had forgotten to brush his teeth. Neji crossed his arms and turned away. Mr. Tadakichi paced in at that moment and jumped onto Chiyo's bed.

"Neji, Lee, do you want pajamas to sleep in?" Tenten asked.

"Not really," Neji answered.

"If Chiyo has a youthful green nightie!" Lee giggled.

Tenten dug into the dresser and held up the largest night gown she could find. It was youthfully orange! "How's this?" Tenten asked.

"That's youthful!" Lee said happily. He whipped off his shirt. He and Neji had received identical nosebleeds. After blindfolding her teammates, Tenten held a tissue up to Lee's nose and pulled the nightgown over his head. She signaled them with an, "okay," to remove their blindfolds and tossed a few tissues to Neji. The nightgown came down mid thigh.

"You know what, keep your pants on," Tenten advised. Lee nodded. "Let's go to sleep now." She turned off the lights. "Good night Neji. Good night Lee," she said to her teammates once she slipped under the covers with some difficulty, due to the dog's weight on the blanket.

"Good night youthful Tenten and youthful Neji!" Lee cheered quietly.

"'Night," Neji mumbled.


	14. Latin for Lead: Plumbum!

That took too long. I'm really sorry. Warning: this chapter contains very random content.

------------------

"We're body guarding a what?" Tomo demanded with rage. She was standing with her two friends in their training ground and screaming at her sensei.

"A squirrel," Gai answered.

"This is stupid!" Tomo said furiously, stomping her foot.

"Oh, and I forgot to mention," Gai added. "It's not just **any **squirrel. It's Lee's youthful squirrel buddy from the chuunin exam!"

"This is **insanely **stupid!!" Tomo screamed, punching a small hole into the ground. She felt something land on her head. It was Lee's youthful squirrel buddy! "Wha-- holy crap! Get it off!" she yelled, dancing in circles. Chiyo ran over to Tomo and pulled the small mammal off of her head. It immediately jumped out of Chiyo's hands and landed in Sakaki's arms. She gasped and closed her eyes to brace herself for its teeth to sink into her skin. The bite never came. Sakaki looked down to find the squirrel looking up at her. It snuggled into her chest. She was surprised, but smiled warmly down to it.

"Aw, how youthfully cute!!" Gai squealed.

"Why do we have to protect it?" Chiyo asked.

"What a youthful question, Chiyo!" Gai exclaimed. "Apparently, there's a war going on between the squirrels and the chipmunks and Lee's youthful friend is the leader of the local squirrel population and is a lovely target for the chipmunks."

"Indeed," Chiyo agreed.

"I'll do anything to help," Sakaki said in determination, clutching the small animal.

"How youthful, Sakaki!" Gai cried.

"Gai-sensei!" Sasaki said to her sensei, tears in her eyes.

"Sakaki!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Sakaki!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Sakaki!"

"Gai-sensei!"

The teacher and student embraced dramatically--- just kidding. Let's start over.

"How youthful, Sakaki!" Gai cried.

Sakaki nodded and looked down at the squirrel. "Does he have a name?" she asked.

"I don't think so," Gai answered.

The squirrel-holding girl paused for a moment. "I know, I'll name you 'Plumbum', the Latin name for lead!"

"But why?" Chiyo asked.

Sakaki held the squirrel closer to her chest and looked up at Chiyo, determination in her eyes. "Because it's a cute name!" (1)

"Um, how about 'Plum' for short?" Chiyo suggested, not wanting to refer to a squirrel as "Plum**bum**."

"**You** can, but **I'm** calling him 'Plumbum'!" she said, petting Plumbum's head.

"That's it! I can't take it anymore! I'm going to join the chipmunks!" Tomo screamed, running into the forest. She ran for about five minutes, avoiding large roots and rocks and ducking for low branches before losing her breath and finding a place to sit on a boulder. "Oh chipmunks of Konoha!" Tomo extended her arms out to greet them and then cried out, "I will join your forces!!" Immediately, a chipmunk jumped down from a tree and landed on her shoulder. It began to squeak to her in its native language. Luckily, Tomo knew Chipmunkese. "Yes, of course I have information on the enemy."

"Le-- I mean Tomo joined the dark side!" Gai cried and began to run around in circles.

"Calm down, Gai-sensei!" Sakaki yelled. He stopped running. "We are at war, man! We must forget that good-for-nothing traitor and win this!" She whipped out a black board from behind her back-- somehow. "Plumbum has told me that the Chipmunks are resting in this location," she pointed at the map of Konoha's forest, which was posted on the blackboard. "We can easily ambush them here."

"If you don't mind," Chiyo said timidly, "I'd like to stay out of this. I don't like violence."

"That's fine," Sakaki said softly.

"We don't want you to get hurt, so please leave the forest," Gai advised.

"I need to check up on 'Mom'. She was just released from prison. You never know what she could do next," Chiyo admitted.

"Why was she in prison?" Sakaki asked.

"I think she was trying to murder that Inuzuka guy. I don't know why she would want to do that..." Chiyo responded. "Well, anyway, bye!" She walked away.

"Nej--Sakaki! We **will** protect Plumbum and his comrades with our lives!" Gai cheered.

"Yes, we will!" At that moment, Plumbum's friends and family jumped out of the trees and landed around the student and teacher. All two-hundred of them. Sakaki blushed from the extreme exposure to the major squirrel cuteness.

Tomo was sitting in a circle with the chipmunks, eating acorns. "Okay, are all of you ready for my kick-ass information?" the Lee impersonator asked. The chipmunks all nodded in unison. "Alright then. I have gathered that..." The chipmunks all leaned in forward. "...the leader's name is 'Plumbum!'" Every other chipmunk fell over.

"Is that **all** you know?" The leader of the chipmunks demanded.

"Well, yeah," Tomo answered. "My teammate, Sa-- Neji named him that."

"Oh well," the leader chipmunk's attendant sighed. "You can still be of use to us."

"How?" the leader asked.

"As a hostage," the attendant said evilly, rubbing her paws together.

"Oh, I get it," the chipmunk leader squeaked "Tie him to the tree!" he commanded, pointing at Tomo.

"What?" Tomo gasped. She was then overcome by several hundred paws holding her and binding her to the closest tree.

"Tell the squirrels and this loser's teammate that they can have him back if they surrender," the leader told his attendant. She nodded and dashed into the trees.

Sakaki was organizing her troops. They were lined up and each held a sharpened twig. She stood before them. "You know the plan: we sneak up from all directions and attack!" Sakaki cried in Squirrelish. "Are you squirrels or acorns?!"

"Squirrels!" They squeaked. She was glad she studied several different animal languages.

"Who's there?" Gai demanded as he whirled around.

"Okay, okay, you've found me," the chipmunk attendant said in Squirrelish as she appeared from behind the bush, her paws in the air.

"A chipmunk?" Sakaki, Gai, and the squirrels gasped.

"I'm just here to deliver a message," the chipmunk attendant said carefully.

"Then give us the message," Plumbum demanded. He was sitting on Sakaki's shoulder.

"So demanding," the messenger sighed. "Here's the message: we are holding your green human friend captive until you surrender to us. If you don't, you'll never see him again."

Gai threw his hands up. "We surrender!"

Sakaki slapped him. "We're not going to surrender!"

"But, Lee!" Gai cried.

"Don't worry, we're going to get her back because we're going to have a hostage of our own!" Sakaki yelled, lunging for the chipmunk attendant. It jumped on to a branch and threw miniature shuriken, which were constructed from bottle caps, at Sakaki, which were all dodged.

"Tell us if you surrender in half an hour. I believe you know where to find us," the attendant tried to say seriously, but the effect was thrown off by her squeaky voice. She jumped into the trees and disappeared.

"Lee!" Gai cried, slamming his fists onto the ground.

"We'll get **Tomo** back without surrendering, Gai-sensei," Sakaki assured. "We just have to take her back." She then addressed the squirrels in their language. "Here's the plan! You distract the enemy while Gai and I rescue the hostage. Then, we'll attack with all we've got!"

"Yeah!" the squirrels cheered.

Tomo was finally secured to the tree and she couldn't move an inch. "Where'd you get this rope anyway?" she asked the guard chipmunk.

"Don't ask any questions, human!" he squeaked back in Chipmunkese.

"Peh, fine," Tomo spat back. She then saw something move in the forest. Seconds later, a sea of squirrels poured in all around the chipmunk camp.

"There is no way that we would surrender!" Plumbum cried, jumping down and landing on a random chipmunk.

"Yeah!" the squirrels cheered, attacking their enemies.

"Lee!" Gai cried from behind the tree Tomo was tied to. He ran around the tree and hugged her.

"Idiot! I'm Tomo!" Tomo yelled. Her words were lost in the noise of the battle. The tension of the ropes loosened all of a sudden. Sakaki had severed them. Without saying anything to her teammate, Sakaki jumped into battle fighting the chipmunks. Tomo and Gai watched awkwardly upon the scene before them.

"This **is** unyouthfully stupid," Gai finally agreed.

"Yes," Tomo confirmed. "Sakaki, I'll see you at training tomorrow!" she called to her battling friend. "Shall we train?" Tomo suggested to Gai.

"That's youthful!" he said happily, and they walked back to Team Gai's training grounds leaving Sakaki with the squirrels to fight the chipmunks.

--------------

Notes:

(1) Actually, it's because I was writing this chapter the same time I was typing up my chemistry notes...


	15. More Muffins and Dodgeball

It's been far too long. I'm really sorry. I have finished the rest of the story and there are 21 chapters total. I'm going to post them as go over my editor's suggestions. All of this will be done by the end of the year. Thank you so much for reading!

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Six days had passed since Lee, Neji, and Tenten had arrived at Chiyo's house. They had spent their time working on their technique in the Miyahama yard. Tenten had made two scrolls from a good sized stack of computer paper; Neji had worked at it and managed to regain most of his chakra control and ability to use some of his more interesting techniques. Lee was able to move easier in Tomo's body and was even able to do the lotus technique!

That day was the scheduled day that they would volunteer at the high school. "Youthful Neji! Youthful Tenten! It's time to get up!" Lee cheered, kicking Neji in the stomach and tapping Tenten's shoulder at the same time. Neji woke up to give Lee a full-blasted jyuuken strike. Ah, how the training had paid off.

"Lee, it's five," Tenten muttered, rubbing her eye.

"Yes, but today is the day we youthfully volunteer at the youthful learning place!" Lee reminded her, bouncing around. Tenten threw Chiyo's alarm clock at Lee. He caught it.

"Look. It's five," Tenten ordered. "If you want to be up, make breakfast and wake us up in an hour." She fell back on her pillow. Neji was already asleep again.

"Okay! I'll make youthful pistachio muffins!" Lee said cheerfully, skipping out of the room.

Exactly an hour later, Lee skipped into the room just as he had exited, only with a small plate of muffins. He gasped and dropped them at the scene in front of him. Neji was lying under his blanket and was wide awake, trying to pry a sleeping Tenten off of him. Her arms were wrapped around his neck with a monstrous force and Neji was struggling to breathe. "Lee," he gasped, "get her off!"

"Not again!" Lee sighed. He picked up the muffins and placed them on Chiyo's desk. He walked over to his teammates and pulled Tenten by her legs. She held a steady grip. When Lee finally released her, she wrapped her legs around Neji's stomach.

"Lee!" Neji grunted.

"Oh! I know!" Lee cheered and ran over to the desk He picked up a muffin and held it by Tenten's face. Her nose began to twitch, smelling the food. Lee raised the muffin and Tenten's head followed. Lee eventually lured her into a sitting position on top of Neji. She woke up.

"Muffin!" she said happily, taking the pastry from Lee and happily munched it.

"Gai-sensei's famous muffin recipe!" Lee said proudly.

"That's great and all," Neji muttered, "but, Tenten, **please** get off!"

"Neji? How'd you get there?" Tenten questioned innocently.

"What do you think?" he queried sarcastically.

"Hm... oh! Sorry," she apologized, sliding off of him. He sat up, reached to the desk, and took a muffin.

"Kurosawa will be picking us up at seven," Neji said and took a bite of his muffin.

"After this, we'll get dressed, and brush our teeth," Tenten said happily, muffin crumbs falling from her face and onto Neji's pillow.

"Hey, watch it!" Neji warned. " I have to sleep on that."

"Sorry," she murmured, brushing the crumbs off.

They finished off Lee's plate of muffins in silence as if they were mourning the past few days of freedom and not having to deal with such troublesome arrangements. Tenten blindfolded her comrades as usual to help them get dressed. She was becoming tired of dressing them and putting them in bathing suits for baths to "protect" her teammates that she was about to give up. They probably read _Icha Icha Paradise _anyway. They took turns with the bathroom to brush their teeth. At first, it had been awkward to use a used toothbrush and in Neji's case, a pink one with cat heads, but they had quickly adapted. It was fifteen minutes until the car was scheduled to arrive, so they decided to wait outside, sitting on the steps outside the front door. They had all independently thought of conversation starters before Neji blurted, "you know, this Sakaki person uses great shampoo." Tenten and Lee turned their heads to stare at him. "Her hair is tangle-free, shiny, and strong! I wish they sold this brand in Konoha."

"Yeah, and Chiyo's hair ties are great! They don't slip out at all!" Tenten noted, poking at her pigtails. "I just put them up in the morning, and I don't have to worry about them falling out!"

"Now that I think of it, Tenten-chan," Lee started, "I've never seen you with your hair down. It's always up!"

"Same here," Neji added.

"Yes, you have! There was that time..." she thought for a moment. "Actually no, I don't think you have."

"You should show us what you look like with your hair down," Neji suggested.

"But why?" Tenten queried, nervously twirling her pigtail.

"Neji wants to see who has prettier hair!!" Lee threw in. Neji punched his hyper teammate. "Or maybe he wants to see how youthfully beautiful Tenten looks," he added, rubbing his shoulder, which Neji had punched. Neji punched him in the other shoulder.

"I wonder how Chiyo, Sakaki, and Tomo are doing in our bodies," Tenten said, changing the subject.

"I wonder if Sakaki stares at my body in the mirror," Neji muttered to himself vainly and cringed.

"I wondered if Tomo is in her springtime of youth!" Lee exclaimed.

"I wonder if Chiyo is properly sharpening my kunai," Tenten whispered. A silence filled the atmosphere.

"Let's not think about it," Neji and Tenten said together. Kurosawa's van conveniently pulled into the driveway at that moment. They walked over to meet the car. Yukari was sitting shot gun, asleep. Lee pulled the door open, hailing three fabric-covered seats in the back. It was still considered a van, though, because the second row had been taken out for storing things like luggage.

"Where are the others?" Lee asked, thinking about Yomi, Kaorin, Kagura and Osaka.

"They're either walking or driving," Kurosawa answered, looking at them via the mirror. Lee slid into the seat to the left, Tenten took the middle, and Neji sat in the seat farthest right. After confirming that all the seatbelts were secured, Kurosawa pulled out of the driveway and into the street.

"Why are you driving Yukari-sensei to school?" Tenten asked Kurosawa.

"Her car broke down," Kurosawa replied, keeping an eye on the road.

_That's unsurprising, _Neji thought, remembering the reckless drive home. Yukari's yells of, "Yee haw! We're almost at 115!" echoed in his ears. He winced.

"We'll drop you off at the office, where you'll be assigned to a class to volunteer," Kurosawa explained, keeping her focus on the road, like a responsible driver.

"Why does this school need volunteers?" Tenten asked. "I mean, it is a private school after all."

"It was the best excuse for you to come visit your old school, remember we discussed this on your graduation day?"

"Oh yeah," Tenten lied, rubbing the back of her neck nervously.

The three back-seat passengers directed their attention to the windows. Students in blue uniforms were walking in a similar direction. As the time passed, the density of students increased. Kurosawa's car finally stopped at the school gates.

"I hope to see you three sometime today," Kurosawa said, turning her head to glace at them and give them a smile. "I need to go park my car, so see ya!"

"Okay, bye," Neji said as he unbuckled and popped the door open. Lee and Tenten followed. The van drove away to the faculty parking lot.

"Yes! A youthful school!" Lee exclaimed, punching the air with his opposite hand resting on his hip.

"Tomo!" Neji and Tenten screamed at their teammate. _Don't attract attention! _they yelled in their minds.

"Oh, sorry!" Lee apologized, averting his eyes to his sneakers in shame. "Yes! **My **youthful school!" he corrected himself.

Neji slapped his forehead and Tenten punched Lee in the back. The three teammates linked arms, began singing cheerful songs, and skipped merrily into the school-- just kidding. They walked into the school. No skipping. No linking of arms. No singing.

They quickly found the main office and entered; it was right near the front entrance. Kaorin, Yomi, Osaka, and Kagura were standing in front of the desk, where a middle-aged woman with glasses sat. She was scribbling on small index cards. Hearing the door open and close, the woman looked up at them and smiled. "You're here to help out?" she queried, looking back down to her note cards.

"Yes, ma'am," Neji replied for his team.

"Un," the woman nodded, straining to concentrate on her cards and what Neji was saying at the same time. She placed her pencil down and picked the small pile of cards. "Kyomi, you will be assisting Miss Yukari in English," she said, passing Yomi a card. "Show this to her, please.

"Okay," Yomi sighed. She wasn't looking forward to being reunited with her former teacher. Again.

"You as well, Osaka and Kagura."

"Yes, ma'am," they replied in unison, taking their cards.

"Kaorin, you'll be helping Mr. Kimura," the woman said, holding a card up to her. The room froze over. Kaorin's eyes glazed over and life drained out of them.

"Yes, of course," she replied in monotone, taking the card from the woman's hand and pacing out the door with Yomi, Osaka, and Kagura.

"Kimura's that pervert, right, Neji?" Tenten whispered into her teammate's ear. She didn't receive a response. Neji melted onto the floor and wrapped his arms around his legs in the fetal position. His eyes were rounded and unfocused.

"Father, Mother! It's nice to see you again! Hold on. Wait for me," Neji muttered to himself. Tenten kicked his head to bring him back to the world of the living.

"Sorry about Sakaki here," Tenten apologized to the woman. "She's a little out of it today."

"It's okay," the woman said, giving Neji a troubled look. "You'll be helping Miss Kurosawa in P.E." She passed the note cards to them.

"How do you help in P.E.?" Neji asked as he looked down at his card. It had Sakaki's name, Miss Kurosawa's name and the room number of the gym scribbled on it.

The woman looked up. "Dunno. Help keep the brats in line?"

"Ah," the three teammates sighed in understanding. They thanked the woman and left the office.

"Um, T--Chiyo, do you know where the gym is?" Lee asked, reading the card in his hand.

"How am I supposed to know?" Tenten replied, looking around her, as if she was looking for a large sign bordered with flashing lights that read, 'Gym this way!'

"I guess I'll use _it_ to find the gym," Neji said as he brought his hands up to form the dragon seal.

"No, Stupid!" Tenten yelled, kicking Neji's shin. A student walking by with a bathroom pass in her hand jumped at the act of violence and scurried to get away. "What do you think they will think when they see you with the veins on your temples popping?" Tenten hissed.

"That I'm really mad?" Neji suggested, forming the next seal, the horse.

"Idiot! They'll send you to the nurse!" Tenten barked and punched her so-called genius of a teammate in the stomach. Another student with a horrified look on his face walked quickly by.

Grabbing his stomach, Neji acquiesced to his violent companion and the group began to look for the gym manually. They searched the first floor. They looked in the second floor. They even went to the roof.

"Where's the **fucking gym**?!" Tenten screamed to the heavens, holding her head in both hands.

"Tenten, please," Neji scorned. He was glad that they were on the roof rather than outside of a classroom full of virgin ears. "Let's go ask a teacher," Neji sighed.

"What a youthfully brilliant idea!" Lee cheered.

The three returned to the second floor in hope of finding a teacher passing by. "If I was a youthful teacher, where would I be?" Lee asked himself.

"The classes are going on, so let's pick a classroom," Neji suggested logically.

Lee and Tenten nodded at Neji and Neji went to the closest door, knocked, and opened it. "Neji, don't!" Tenten cried. Poor Neji didn't check the name plate at the top of the door. He was met by a distraught Kaorin writing on the blackboard in a mini skirt and bikini top. "Oh, good morning, Mr. Kimura..." Tenten began, waving weakly.

"Hi girls!" he returned, springing up from his desk.

"Could you tell us where the gym is?" Lee asked. Tenten was holding up an unconscious Neji, who was foaming at the mouth.

"Sure! I'll take you there myself!" Kimura exclaimed.

"N-no, it's fine," Tenten stuttered.

"I insist!" Kimura said happily. "I'll even carry-- what's her name?" he asked, referring to Neji.

"That's Neji, and Lee will carry her," Tenten said. Lee looked at her with his eyes popping.

"Neji? Lee? Aren't those male names?" Kimura questioned, looking puzzled.

"Oh, you see... They're nicknames!" Tenten said quickly. "'Neji' is short for 'Sakaki' and' Lee' is short for 'Tomo!'"

Kimura shrugged. "If you say so," he said. "Kaorin-chan! I'll be right back!" he called to the terrified girl. "Finish writing the definitions or else I'll make you take off your skirt!" She gasped and began writing faster. "Let's go, girls!" Lee pulled Neji onto his back and Kimura lead them down the stairs, out the back door, and to a second building.

"Thanks, Mr. Kimura, Tenten muttered.

"Anytime!" he said. "Oh, and good luck with your technique." He walked back to the main building.

"What did he say?" Neji asked in disbelief.

"Neji! You're awake!" Tenten noted. Lee released Neji.

"Yes, I am," Neji confirmed. "Let's go inside and worry about Kimura later."

Neji opened the double doors to be greeted by a rubber ball in the face. "Midori! You hit her in the face! Nice shot!"

"T-thanks, Shouta, but I hope she's okay."

The gym floor was painted for basketball, but numerous colorful balls were being thrown across the gym. The students were running around, facing the opposing team. The unlucky ones sat out against the wall. Neji caught the ball as it tried to bounce away from his face. He had a I-am-going-to-kill-some-brat look on his face. "Neji," Tenten said slowly, "I want you to take long, deep breaths just like we practiced." Neji ignored her.

"Tenten, the girl's name is 'Midori,' right?" he asked.

"Neji--"

"Right?"

"Right."

"Sakaki! Tomo! Chiyo! There you are! We need you to even out the dodge ball teams!" Kurosawa called to them from across the gym. "Sakaki, Chiyo! Join this team," she ordered, pointing to the team to the right. "Tomo, join the other," she added, pointing to the one to their left. Neji, Tenten, and Lee did as they were told.

"Neji, how do you play dodgeball?" Tenten whispered to her teammate.

"Apparently, we're trying to hit the opponents on the other side of the gym without crossing the median," Neji answered.

"That's my genius!" Tenten said happily, slapping his back. She picked up a red ball that was rolling by. "This should be fun," Tenten murmured evilly to herself. She picked out the most skilled player on the opposite team and projected the ball at him. Hard. The sound of the rubber slapping his thigh was earsplitting. There was a sudden silence in the room. Everyone stopped moving and stared at the short girl who had knocked out the champion dodgeball player.

"Get her!" cried a teammate of the boy who was knocked out. A wave of dodgeballs came at her. Neji jumped in front of her. He caught the first two to come at them in each hand and then proceeded to knock away each one after that with the ones he was holding.

"Completely unnecessary, but thank you," Tenten said to her teammate.

"I need your help to get my revenge," Neji explained.

"Oh, is that it?" Tenten asked angrily.

"Er, no, well, you're my teammate, right?" Neji asked insecurely.

"Okay, that's better. Who do you want me to get?"

"The girl who hit me on our way in."

"Do you know which one she is?"

"No." Tenten slapped her forehead.

"That's great. Hey you, kid!" she shouted to one of their teammates. "Which one is Mi--" she was cut off by a ball slamming into her stomach.

"I hit youthful Chiyo!" Lee cheered as he began to jump up and down. Tenten reluctantly walked off the battle field to join the losers who were hit.

"Tomo! You freak! I needed her!" Neji yelled at Lee. He turned to the boy who Tenten was talking to before. "Who is Midori?"

"The girl with the blue ponytail," the boy answered. Neji threw both of the balls that he was holding at her. He enjoyed the sound of her squeal when she was hit with both.

"That's what you get for messing with a Hyuuga!" Neji yelled to her.

"Midori!" cried the boy named Shouta who had complemented her earlier. He proceeded to throw numerous dodge balls at Neji. In response, Neji threw some at Shouta until Shouta was hit by one.

"Hell yeah!" Neji shouted, punching the air with both fists before being hit by Lee. Neji picked up a green ball and threw it at Lee's head before sitting down.

"That didn't count!" Lee pouted.

"I know, stupid," Neji called back. He sat next to Tenten. They watched Lee easily dodge the oncoming projectiles and throw the balls at the opposite team. Eventually, he was the last one standing.

"Yes! I did it!" Lee yelled happily, jumping up and down. The students looked rather disturbed and retreated to their locker rooms.

"Well, thanks for coming," Kurosawa sighed to them. "I only teach one class today, so can you help me with paper work?" she asked.

"Sure!" Tenten answered cheerfully.

"Great! I'll go get it. I need you to alphabetize the student portfolios by surname. They're a lot, so you'll have to do it out here in the gymnasium." She left to her office and brought a large box. She went back to her office and brought another and another. She continued until team Gai had thirty boxes in front of them.

"Well, good luck!" Kurosawa cheered and walked back to her office.

"Let's get to work. We'll start by sorting them by first letter and then arranging each letter at a time," Neji said skillfully. Tenten and Lee nodded in agreement as usual and began to work. After Neji sensed that Kurosawa had fallen asleep on her desk, he began to get down to business. "Kimura apparently knows about us."

"That was a shock to me too," Tenten commented. "Do you think he spied on us at Chiyo's summer home?"

"That's possible, but I'm not sure about that," Neji wondered out loud. "I'm going to sit over there and meditate on this. Any objections?"

"Yes!" Lee and Tenten said together angrily.

"Too bad." Neji walked to the corner and sat down, forming his position.

"That good for nothing..." Tenten started, raising the rather thick portfolio of Toku Yamamoto, preparing to throw it at her angsty teammate.

"No, Tenten, let him think. This could be vital to our mission," Lee said soothingly, slowly seizing the portfolio from her grasp.

"Fine," Tenten said, going back to work. Tenten talked to Lee about giving up on pursuing Sakura, but Lee was consistent and stubborn. Tenten swore that she saw Neji twitch when Lee told her that she should go out with Neji someday. Tenten asked Lee if he would have accepted the spandex body suit from Gai if it was pink. He answered, "Why not?" Lee asked why Tenten always wore her hair in buns. She said that it was cute and it kept her hair out of the way. Tenten asked why Lee had massive eyebrows. He said that his family's Okinawan. Lee asked Tenten what her surname was, but Neji interrupted.

"Kimura. He's-- I figured it out!"


	16. DeskStabbing Anger

Gai, Sakaki, and Tomo were stretching and waiting for Chiyo to arrive to begin training. "Where do you think youthful Chiyo is this morning?" Gai asked his new students. They shrugged. As if on cue, Chiyo came running to them. "You're an hour late!" Gai yelled.

"Sorry, I had to bail Tenten's mother out of jail. She tried to break into that Shikamaru person's house."

"So, let's begin training!" Gai said cheerfully, changing the subject. All of a sudden, a kunai came whizzing towards Sakaki. She dodged it, but barely.

"I-I'm so s-sorry, Neji-nii-chan!" Hinata said as she approached them. "I tripped and I threw my kunai by accident!"

"Aw, it's okay, Hinata!" Sakaki assured, patting Hinata's head.

_That Sakaki is too naive to recognize the killing intent Hinata just had, _Chiyo and Gai thought together.

"Tsunade-sama sent me to tell you that she has a mission for you," Hinata whispered.

"Thank you, Hinata," Gai said for the group. "Let's go!" He began to lead his team in the direction of the Hokage's office when--

"N-neji," Hinata stuttered, "here's your lunch. I made it special just for you." She held out a small bento box wrapped in a grey (the Hyuuga clan's official color) napkin.

"Thanks, Hinata," Sakaki said, taking the lunch. "Bye!" She waved to Hinata and walked away with her team. "That was really nice of her," Sakaki said to Chiyo.

"Yeah, it was," Chiyo replied. _It's probably poisoned, _she thought.

Gai and his team reached the hokage's office with high spirits for another mission. "Gah, it's probably another babysitting job," Tomo muttered. They knocked at the door, to be granted permission to enter. Tsunade was, as always, sitting at her desk, only this time Shizune was having her fill out paper work. She looked up at them with an excited look on her face (she was looking for any excuse to take a break).

"Team Gai!" she cheered. I have a real nifty mission for you!

"What? Weeding a lawn?" Tomo said under her breath.

"This will be a week-long mission in the country of the waves. You must assassinate a leader figure who is trying to gain followers to attack us. This is a 'B' mission, so be careful!" Tsunade told them enthusiastically.

"Oh yes!" Tomo exclaimed, punching the air with both fists.

Tsunade smiled and continued, "You'll be leaving this after--"

"Tsunade, I need to talk to you," Gai interrupted. He motioned his three new students to exit the room. Chiyo, Tomo, and Sakaki walked out the room together and closed the door behind them.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Tomo asked Chiyo and Sakaki.

"Well," Chiyo said to Tomo, "I have a theory."

"**Gai! You idiot! Do you realize what you have done?!**" Tsunade's voice screamed. Tomo, Chiyo, and Sakaki swore that they felt the floor tremor. "**Tomo! Chiyo! Sakaki! In here now!**"

"She found out," Chiyo whispered.

"How can you tell?" Tomo asked.

"She didn't yell, 'Lee! Tenten! Neji!'" Chiyo explained. They were hit with Tsuade's rage aura, which probably raised the room temperature by five or so degrees when they entered the room. Tsunade picked up her pen and stabbed it three centimeters into her desk.

"I guess you're right, Chiyo," Tomo said to her comrade.

"Go clean up the Aburame's yard. Shizune will take you," Tsunade uttered through gritted teeth.

"Yes, Tsunade-sama," Shizune said meekly and obediently, hoping to be in the hokage's favor during her rage. She walked the three girls out into the hallway and closed the door behind them. They walked down the hallway and down the stairs to the ground level. "You were doing a great job keeping your identities a secret, but I could tell something was different. I mean, there were reports of 'Neji' being the leader of the local squirrel population," Shizune told them. Tomo and Chiyo giggled, but Sakaki was preoccupied with staring at Tonton, who was sitting in Shizune's arms. They found their way to the main road. "So tell me about your universe," Shizune brought up, trying to stimulate conversation.

"Let's see," started Chiyo. "We're high school students."

"We have a perverted teacher!" interjected Tomo.

"We have several perverts who taught Naruto," Shizune said, drawing parallels. "What else?"

"There's a rabid cat who enjoys eating Sakaki's hand," Tomo offered.

"Well, we had the kyuubi and Orochimaru's summoned snakes attack Konoha," Shizune replied after a moment of thought.

"Kyuubi?" Chiyo questioned. "The mythological kyuubi in our legends back home?"

"Who knows, maybe there's some person with psychic powers or maybe this has happened before," Shizune said thoughtfully, referring to the body switch they were experiencing. Suddenly, she whirled around.

"Who's there?" All of a sudden, Sakaki collapsed onto the ground, but quickly stood up.

"Sa--Neji! Are you okay?" Chiyo asked. Sakaki, with out warning, hugged Chiyo.

"Oh, Tenten! I love you with all my heart! Will you go out with me?" Sakaki asked.

"What? Neji, what's wrong?" Chiyo questioned, taking her teammate's approximate temperature by feeling Sakaki's forehead.

"Yamanaka!" Shizune said annoyed. "Cut it out."

"Aw, I was caught," Sakaki said. She frowned and formed a hand seal. "Kai!" Sakaki fell to the ground again and Ino popped out of the bushes. "NejiTen forever!" she yelled and dashed off in the opposite direction.

"Okay," Shizune said in a slightly confused manner. "Let's continue." Somehow, the group made it to the gloomy Aburame house. The house itself was painted the most depressing shade of grey. They were met by a swarm of bugs when they entered the gates. Shizune told them that she had to go help the hokage with paperwork and left them. Chiyo and Sakaki began to cringe at the sight of the millions of bugs and Tomo began to try to catch them with her hands. They seemed to escort them to the front door. They were met by Shino when they knocked.

"Can I help you?" he asked. He saw Tomo squishing his comrades. "Lee, can you stop that?" Tomo didn't seem to hear. "Lee?" Chiyo nudged Tomo with her elbow. She looked at Chiyo who redirected the attention to Shino with a quick tilt of the head. "Don't kill my friends."

"'Friends?'" Tomo asked, confused.

"Yes, they're my friends," Shino clarified. "Now what do you want?"

"We're here to clean up your yard," Chiyo explained.

"Oh. The lawn mower is over there," he said, pointing to the shed to the right of the house, "but it's broken. You'll have to fix it." he smiled evilly.

Tomo screamed,_ You bastard!_ in her head. Shino smirked and a familiar face popped up from behind his back.

"Hinata," Sakaki noticed.

"H-hi Neji," Hinata returned.

"What are you doing here?" Sakaki asked.

"W-well, Sh-shino's my teammate," Hinata explained.

"Then where's your other teammate?" Chiyo inquired. Hinata paused and blushed.

"Don't tell Father I'm here," she whispered. "Or else," she added quickly and quietly so only Sakaki could hear.

"We better get to work," Tomo said to change the subject.

"Shino, I'll supervise them," Hinata told her teammate.

"You don't have to Hinata," Shino said.

"Okay, Shino," Hinata pouted. The two team eight members walked inside the house together.

Chiyo, Tomo, and Sakaki headed to the shed. "Dad taught me about how lawn movers work, so I'll take care of the lawn mover if you two want to start moving the loose sticks on the lawn out of the way," Chiyo said, opening the shed door. Sakaki and Tomo nodded and went to work. Chiyo turned to look at the lawn mover. It wasn't pretty. It was rusted, dented, and in need of oil and gasoline--overall, a pathetic sight. "This will take some work."

* * *

"Oi, Shikamaru?" Ino said, approaching her teammate.

"Mn?" was her answer. Shikamaru was lying in a patch of grass he had subconsciously made his usual spot and was watching the clouds drift casually by.

"Have you noticed anything strange with Neji?" Ino asked, sitting next to the lazy chuunin.

"It's not just Neji," Shikamaru muttered under his breath.

"I mean he's the leader of the squirrels, he blushes when he sees Akamaru, and when I used my shintenshin technique on him, something weird happened."

"How so?"

"When I entered his mind, there was a tall girl with long black hair watching me. She didn't say anything when she watched me manipulate Neji's body," Ino recited. "What do you think?"

But Shikamaru was asleep.


	17. Violent Fantasy XXVI

Neji, Tenten, and Lee were sitting in Chiyo's bedroom on the floor in a circle. They had returned from their first day of volunteer work.

"Holy crap," Tenten pronounced articulately.

"It makes perfect sense," Lee commented, rubbing his chin in contemplation.

"Yes, I am a genius," Neji said imperiously. "You can praise me now." Lee and Tenten ignored his demand.

"He was away on a mission before we left," Tenten noted. "Gai must have sent him to watch after us."

"But why did he send Jiraiya?" Lee asked.

"He **is** a sannin and it explains why Neji was groped," Tenten put in. Neji once again formed the fetal position and began mumbling to himself.

"And also why he dodged your kunai," Lee suggested, remembering the day when they walked down to the ice cream store with Chiyo's friends. "Somehow, I'm hoping that he groped Neji thinking it was you, Tenten," Lee said to his female teammate.

"Any man who touches Tenten will die!" Neji shouted, jumping up.

"Hm?" Tenten said innocently. "What about my brother? He gives me hugs all the time!"

"Not what I meant," Neji murmured sitting down.

They ended their day with practicing their technique on a rather thick tree. When they were done, Tenten pulled out the various weapons that she had summoned. It looked like it was a victim or war. Not knowing what else to do, they left the tree, went inside, and ordered a pizza. "What now?" Lee asked.

"They do have a bunch of video games," Tenten suggested.

"Sounds like good youthful fun!" Lee interjected and skipped merrily and youthfully to the living room. Neji and Tenten followed and sat on the sofa while Lee was flipping through the Miyahama's collection. "How about this one?" He held up a game case that was labled "Violent Fantasy XXVI."

"Just how many 'Violent Fantasies' are they going to make?" Tenten asked. "Looks like fun."

"You two can, but I'll stay out," Neji said immaturely.

"Why?" Lee asked.

"The guy on the cover has prettier hair than him," Tenten explained. Lee looked at the cover. There was a man with very long, very neatly combed white hair. Neji turned away from his friends and crossed his arms.

"**Neji** may not have prettier hair than this guy," Lee admitted, "but **Sakaki** definitely does." He pointed to Sakaki's long, dark hair, that Neji was nice enough to deep condition for her every other day.

Because it was a one player game, Tenten decided to let Lee play. Lee pressed the on button, giggled, and scooted back to the floor in front of the sofa Neji and Tenten were sitting on. After watching a short, dramatic intro, Lee began exploring the "free mode" and Neji and Tenten lost interest in dedicating all of their attention to the screen.

"So, Neji," Tenten began as an evil look crept up onto her face, "are there any girls back in Konoha that you miss dearly?" She felt the couch move in response to Neji's small jump of surprise from her inquiry.

"Why?" he asked after controlling his blushes.

"Aw, don't be like that," Tenten whispered into his ear. She stroked his cheek with her finger. "You know I'll get it out of you eventually." Neji's pale face had suddenly turned dark and red like blood. "It's Sakura, isn't it?"

"W-what? No!" Neji denied immediately. Tenten leaned back into her original position on the couch.

"Then it's Ino?" she asked.

"**Heck** no," he responded.

"It's Hinata? Do you enjoy committing incest?"

"**Bloody hell **no!" Neji half screamed. Tenten looked at the ceiling in thought.

"Yes! Level twenty!" Lee cheered.

"Oh! I know! It's Kurenai!"

"Where'd you get that from?" Neji asked, shocked. Tenten ignored him.

"Ah, the forbidden love between a jounin and a genin!" she sighed, looking into space with glittery eyes.

"NO!" he said firmly and he took her by her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "The girl I like is--"

"See Tenten!" Lee said excitedly, turning his head from the screen. "I **told** you he wasn't gay!" He turned back to his game.

"Fine," Tenten said unhappily and pulled a twenty dollar bill from her pocket, crumpled it up into her fist, and pelted it at the back of Lee's head.

"You were betting that I was gay?" Neji turned back to Tenten in disbelief.

"Hey, look at all the depressed and disturbed guys in Konoha!" she explained, looking Neji right in the eye.

"Well at least I don't gel my hair into awkward positions everyday!" Neji countered. After a few seconds of unrest, Tenten asked a question.

"So, who's the lucky gal you like?" she asked with a sweet face.

"Um, er, no one in particular," Neji said as nervously as his cousin, poking his index fingers together.

Lee whirled his head around to face them. "I **told **you he was asexual!" Tenten took out another twenty and threw it at Lee.

"That's not even your money to bet!" Neji commented, watching Lee bundling the bill with a small collection of others and then returning it to his pocket.

"This Chiyo is filthy rich. I bet she can spare a few twenties," Tenten justified, folding her fingers together behind her neck.

"That still doesn't make it right," Neji complained. The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," Tenten muttered as she rose from her seat and shuffled out the room. A few moments later, she returned. "Lee, I need the money I gave you for the pizza."

"Aw," Lee mourned as he paused his game to dig into his back pocket. He passed her the money she had just given him and she walked out of the room. When Tenten returned soon after, she had two large pizza boxes in her arms.

"Here's your green pepper," she said to Lee, handing one of the boxes to him.

"Why thank you youthful Tenten!" Lee exclaimed, pressing the power button of the video game console to turn it off. He took the box from her. Neji slid off the couch and sat next to Lee. Tenten sat next to Neji, forming a circle.

"And here's ours Neji! Your side is anchovy since I know you love it so much!" Tenten said happily. Neji fell backwards onto the floor and began twitching and foaming at the mouth. "But it was a joke," Tenten said guiltily and softly.

Eventually after bringing Neji back to life...

"Tomorrow is the last day of volunteering at the school and next week we will be separated for nearly a year when Tomo, Sakaki, and Chiyo separate to go back to their colleges," Neji said to his team. "We better get our jutsu to work and send us back home soon." He took a bite of his **pineapple** pizza.

"I don't understand why it isn't sending us back now," Tenten pointed out. "I mean, we've done it over and over again at least fifty times!" They sat in silence for a moment in thought.

"There's another catch to this, isn't there?" Neji and Tenten asked Lee simultaneously in annoyed tones. Lee thought for a moment.

"Oh yeah!" Lee said excitedly with half-chewed green peppers falling out of his mouth. "Gai-sensei told me that we have to use the jutsu against an enemy!" Neji and Tenten slapped their foreheads.

"You moron! Do you have any idea how pressed we are for time?" Tenten screamed. "Now we have to find an enemy in this peace-loving world! I mean, compared to Konoha, they're a bunch of happy hippies! No one walks around with weapons!" She put her face close to Lee an in intimidating way, making Lee blush and Neji jealous.

"I'm so sorry, youthful Tenten!" Lee sobbed, throwing his arms around her neck and embracing her.

Faced with a new opposing factor, Neji and Tenten were utterly and supremely pissed. They spent the remainder of the evening ignoring the saddened Lee and went to bed early without bothering to clean up or brush their teeth. Tenten threw the sheets on top of herself in frustration and Neji decided to make Lee sleep downstairs on the couch. Neji and Tenten swapped how-to-torture-Lee-when-this-nightmare-was-over ideas for a good twenty minutes before calling it a night. Little did the group know, it was going to be a lot easier to find an enemy then they had thought.


	18. What Kind of Buns?

This chapter is essentially crack. Please don't take it too seriously. Enjoy!

* * *

"That fucking bug-bastard ass Shino," Tomo muttered through her gritted teeth to herself while she walked to the training grounds with Sakaki and Chiyo. It was minutes before the crack of dawn. They were late. "That goddamned son of a bitch needs to be chopped to bits with a fucking spork."

"Lee, I didn't know you were such a hateful person," Chiyo said softly to Tomo, hinting her friend to get back into Lee's character. When they arrived, they found an empty training area.

"Where's sensei?" Chiyo asked out loud.

"Not here, apparently," Tomo replied as she sat down with Sakaki on one of the log benches. Moments later, a person approached them.

"Neji! Lee! Tenten! You're training with us!" Naruto exclaimed. His team (minus Kakashi) was behind him.

"Where's your sensei?" Chiyo asked.

"He'll show up in three or so hours," Sakura explained. Sakaki stood up from the log bench.

"Where's Gai-sensei?" she asked.

"Tsunade-sama said that he did something really bad and she is punishing him," Sakura reported. "But I wonder what he did."

"I bet he vandalized a monument!" Naruto suggested. Sakura flicked his cheek.

"That's something **you** would do, Idiot," Sasuke and Sakura said in unison.

"Oh no, it wasn't that. It was something he did to us," Tomo clarified. There was a pause.

"Oh my god, he raped you all **at the same time**!" Sakura screamed as she was foaming at the mouth. "Gai is a rapist pedophile!" She danced in circles.

"No, no! You have it all wrong!" Chiyo tried to clear up. Sakura didn't stop her panic frenzy.

"She's not listening," Sasuke uttered. "This is how her brain works. She'll tell Ino that your sensei is a 'rapist pedophile' and soon the whole village will know."

Just as Sasuke told them, Sakura ran off in the general direction of Ino's training grounds, leaving her teammates with Tomo, Sakaki, and Chiyo.

"What now?" Tomo asked.

"We could do warm ups," Sakaki suggested.

"Or we could jump into a sparring session," Sasuke proposed.

They all nodded at Sasuke's suggestion, being the slackers they were. Chiyo winced.

"What's wrong, Tenten?" Sakaki asked.

"My scalp hurts from my tight buns," Chiyo said, rubbing her head.

"Wait, I don't see how that works." Naruto said confused. "If your scalp is on your head and your buns are--" Sasuke hit him upside the head.

"Idiot, her **hair** buns."

"Okay, I'm taking them out," Chiyo announced, starting to fumble with the pins holding her hair up. Her hair fell to her shoulders and she began to comb it out with her fingers. The two nearby teammates of team seven stared at her.

"I call sparring with Tenten!" Naruto called out eagerly, raising his hand.

"Idiot, you won't know when to stop and you'll hurt her!" Sasuke countered.

"How about we fight to decide who gets to spar with her?" Naruto resolved, pulling out a kunai.

"That's your first ever rational suggestion, congratulations," Sasuke smirked and formed the dragon hand seal. They began their fight.

"H-hey wait," Chiyo said weakly to them. "Don't I get a say in this?"

Sakura returned with Ino. "Hey, what's going on?" Sakura asked, glancing at her teammates fighting.

"Oh, them? They're fighting over Tenten," Tomo explained, pointing at the boys.

"Sasuke? Fighting over Tenten?" Ino and Sakura said together, fuming.

"SasuTen, hell yes!" Hinata exclaimed, popping out of a bush.

"No! It's LeeTen!" Sakura yelled.

"NejiTen!" Ino countered.

"ShinoTen!" cried Shizune, jumping down from a tree branch.

"NaruTen!" Naruto screamed.

"SasuNaru!" Sasuke cried.

Sakaki woke in her bed, sweating. "I've got to cut back on those Konoha cookies." She stood up from her bed and shuffled to the bathroom. As she was brushing her teeth, she heard Hinata's singing voice from the hallway.

"SasuTen, SasuTen, all the way!"


	19. The Triangle

Only three chapters to go!

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"Youthful Neji! Youthful Tenten!" Lee cried happily as he jumped on top of a sleeping Neji. To his surprise, Neji and his blanket disappeared in a puff of smoke and was replaced by a net, which entangled him in to a trap.

"Ha, ha!" Tenten laughed as she and Neji crawled out of the closet. "I told you it would work!" she told Neji.

"But I never doubted you," Neji mumbled. Tenten ignored him.

"The great and mighty Tenten has dominated you!" she cried, punching her fists into the air.

"Okay, you can let me down now," Lee said, annoyed, tugging at the net.

"We're going to have breakfast now," Neji smirked and walked out of the room with his female teammate.

"Hey! Come back here!" He tried to break open the net, but it remained intact. Tenten peaked her head into the room.

"That's a special net. It won't break," she said, smiling at him. She disappeared. Neji was waiting in the kitchen for her.

"What's for breakfast?" he asked, browsing the pantry.

"How about this?" Tenten suggested, holding a box of croissant mix.

"That'll take too long and plus, last time we tried to make those, we set the kitchen on fire," Neji remembered.

"That's true," Tenten sighed and replaced the mix on the shelf next to the canned peaches. They stood in contemplation.

"Left over pizza?" they suggested at the same time.

Lee was sitting in his net when Tenten and Neji returned. Tenten deactivated the trap by forming a series of hand seals and stating, "kai." They ate their pizza in an awkward silence. They cleaned up by throwing the boxes in a messy pile in the corner of Chiyo's room. Tenten helped Neji and Lee dress themselves and then dressed herself. Lee and Tenten waited in the front yard while Neji applied hair spray to Sakaki's hair.

"Do you think Neji is going to miss Sakaki's hair when we complete the jutsu?" Tenten asked Lee.

"Yep," Lee answered simply.

Neji arrived and they left the Miyahama house and began their two-mile walk down the road. Kurosawa had to be at school early, so Neji, Tenten, and Lee had to find their own way to the school.

"So Tenten," Lee began seductively to his teammate, who was on his left, "is there a guy waiting for you back in Konoha?"

"Don't try to use my own tricks on me; they won't work," she replied without any sign of being surprised.

"Aw, she doesn't want to say," Neji teased, ganging up on her. Tenten blushed.

Although Neji's joining Lee in interrogating their teammate was not planned, it helped Lee immensely. He was the catalyst to Lee's plan. Tenten could keep herself calm in Lee's presence, but Neji made her nervous, made her insides flip over, made her almost lightheaded. But why?

Lee smiled at Neji in appreciation. "Is it Sasuke? How cliché," Neji began with a smile.

"No!" Tenten answered, sweat pouring down her face and neck to her back.

"Then it's Choji," Neji decided.

"Wh-what makes you say that?" his female teammate asked nervously in response.

"Your hair probably reminds him of pork buns," he replied.

"Asuma?" Lee threw out.

"'The hell?" Tenten and Neji asked, confused from the randomness.

"He uses those knuckle thingies-- weapons! Just like you!" Lee exclaimed.

"No," Tenten answered flatly.

"I know, she's lesbian," Neji told Lee.

"I see, that makes sense," Lee said back, smirking.

"I'm not!" Tenten shouted she turned to her teammate. "The person I like is you, Neji!"

The group stopped in their tracks. An awkward silence filled the atmosphere. Tenten's face turned redder than an overripe tomato. She averted her eyes from Neji's shocked face to her own fidgeting feet. Lee smiled, but looked sad and disappointed at the same time. It did not go according to plan.

"I-I guess I'll leave you two love birds alone," he whispered, fighting back tears as he ran ahead to the school.

The silence reclaimed the scene. After a while, Tenten stuttered out, "W-well, we sh-should go now." She began to walk again. A hand grabbed her wrist to stop her.

"Wait," Neji said calmly.

Tenten could tell that Neji was fighting himself to maintain the calm aura around him. She had always admired how he was strong in that sense.

"You should know," Neji uttered, "that you may say that you like me," he paused all dramatically, "but I love you." A single tear of happiness plunged down Tenten's cheek.

"No!" screamed Kaorin's voice from behind them. She ran past them, towards the school, holding her head.

"Do you get the feeling that Kaorin liked Chiyo?" Tenten asked Neji, finally facing him.

"I think she liked Sakaki."

Neji offered his hand (or should I say "Sakaki's hand") to his teammate. She took it, and they proceeded down the road to the school.


	20. Youthful Eagle Windcutter

Neji and Tenten arrived at the school hand-in-hand, with a single concern in their mind for the third member of their team. They entered the office and asked where "Tomo" was. To their great surprise, "Tomo" hadn't shown up yet. They told her that they would be right back and left the room.

"Where do you think he could be?" Tenten asked.

"He's probably at the school somewhere. He ran in this direction and he knows that we need to complete the jutsu **today**," Neji reasoned, massaging Tenten's hand with his in nervousness.

"That's right! I completely forgot!" she gasped.

"I'll look for him and you look for our target," he said, looking for people who may be passing by.

"But who's our target?" Tenten queried. Neji smirked.

"Why, it's Jiraiya, of course!"

"Wow, I feel like a complete idiot. Gai probably planted him for that exact purpose."

"Meet us on the school's track at ten. There won't be any gym class then. Bring Jiraiya by telling him we have pornographic magazines for him."

"Okay," Tenten agreed. She looked down at her watch. It was nine-thirty. "See you in half an hour." She walked away.

Neji watched her leave and imagined her in her real body and not in Chiyo's. Although Chiyo was their age at thirteen, she had a childish image and appeared more like a ten-year-old. Neji searched for Lee starting with the roof, with success. He knew that Lee loved being up high and spending time with his squirrel buddy back in Konoha. Lee was leaning over the edge of the building and gently holding a green leaf that was blown away from its tree prematurely. He had no expression on his face and was not crying. Neji stood next to him.

"Lee, you liked Tenten, didn't you?" Neji asked, trying not to be too interrogative. Lee nodded, looking down at his leaf.

"I realized that Sakura would never love me back, so I decided to move on, and then I noticed Tenten," Lee said calmly. "But no one could ever love me that way. I'm hopeless."

"You know, do you remember that girl back from our class-- she had orange hair?" Neji said after a moment of thought.

"Yeah," Lee answered softly. His voice still empty of expression. "She just moved away a year ago."

"I remember her telling her friends--she sat right behind me in class-- that she had the 'biggest crush' on you," Neji said, staring up at the sky.

Lee finally looked up at him. "Really?"

"I would never lie to a teammate." Neji was still gazing up at the sky, watching the birds flying by. "Let's go. Tenten's waiting for us." Neji walked to the stairs leading down to the second floor. Lee followed him.

When they reached the first floor, Lee responded, "You're a liar."

"What do you mean?"

"You did lie to us," Lee said smiling, "when you told us you didn't like anyone in particular." Neji smiled back.

"I guess you're right."

When they arrived, Tenten was throwing some of her handmade kunai at Jiraiya in the middle of the track. "No! I won't pose for you for your next book!"

"Aw, don't be that way!" he was dodging each projectile, as expected from a sannin.

"He's trying to steal Tenten's youth!" Lee stated angrily, tightening his shoe laces. "The technique?" he suggested to them.

Taking Lee's signal, Tenten took out two scrolls and Neji activated his byakugan. "Youthful eagle wind-cutter!" They cried in unison.

_How lame, _Jiraiya thought. _They must have had to make lots of compromises to come up with such a stupid name. _

Tenten crouched down and placed one scroll on each side 0of herself. She formed a series of hand seals. "Phase one: soushoyruu!" she yelled and crossed her arms. The scrolls unrolled themselves and shot up into the air behind two columns of smoke disguised as dragons. They twisted around each other to create a double helix and the smoke faded away. Focusing her chakra to her feet, she jumped into the air and began to summon weapons and throw them at Jiraiya. Gravity over came her and she touched down for a moment to jump back up again.

Lee entered the bottom of the helix and jumped up to Tenten. Tenten took his hand and began to rotate and gaining speed quickly. She continued to summon and throw weapons with her free hand.

Neji was running around picking up the dropped weapons and throwing them at Jiraiya, to distract him further. Jiraiya was dodging them all, with some struggle.

When Lee and Tenten were spinning at an incredible speed, Tenten released Lee in Jiraya's direction. Lee himself began to spin. He was headed feet first for Jiraiya. "Phase two:" he began, "spinning top of super youthful--" Before he could finish, is spinning kick connected with the target's stomach, making Jiraiya cough up some blood. Not feeling sympathetic at all, Neji took this opportunity to land a kunai in Jiraiya's back. The target was still standing. "--youthfulness" Lee finished, after back flipping away from Jiraiya to avoid the weapons Neji was throwing.

After landing back down from when Lee had knocked one of the scrolls, Tenten took out two more and repeated her soushoyruu. She was starting to feel the effects of overusing a trump card. Her vision was blurring and some of her weapons were missing by more than a few centimeters. Nonetheless, this didn't stop her from continuing. Neji jumped up and they grabbed each other's hand. They began to spin.

"Tenten, are you okay?" Neji asked, noticing that her kunai almost hit Lee, who was throwing punches and kicks at Jiraiya to distract him.

"Yeah, I'm fine." But she knew that she wasn't. She grabbed his hand with both of hers and began to spin faster. She released him, but in the process, she lost her strength and gravity began to take her.

Instead of yelling, "Phase three: raven's descend," he shouted to Lee, "help her!" Lee ran and caught Tenten while Neji began his projecting kaiten. The moment Neji's attack made contact with Jiraiya, team Gai and the target all blacked out.


	21. Epilogue: The Aftermath

A single ribbon of sunlight lay on the cotton sheets and face of Hyuuga Neji. His brilliant white eyes--his own eyes--opened to greet the day. They fixed upon the blown up photo of Tenten in her bathing suit tacked on the ceiling. Soft and elegant words escaped his lips:

"Hellz yeah! I'm back!" He sat up quickly in his bed and punched the air. Something caught his eye and he turned to see it. Hinata was standing in his room, holding a shiny chainsaw. She looked a little disappointed.

"Get the hell out of my room, Main House Trash, before I jyuuken you to another dimension!" he cheered.

Hinata threw the chainsaw to the floor and stomped out of the room angrily. Neji threw on his jacket over his black t-shirt and pulled his shorts over his heart-print boxers. He grabbed his forehead protector from his bed stand and dashed out the window. He didn't stop until he reached the training grounds, where he found Lee and Gai.

"And then, there was this psychotic English teacher with constant road rage and we stayed at Chiyo's youthful mansion, and-- Hello, my youthful teammate!" Lee cheered as he saw Neji approach them.

Neji smiled to see that his teammate was back to his cheerful, hyperactive self.

"So, Neji, did you enjoy your youthful trip?" Gai asked.

"Why, yes, Gai-sensei! I absolutely loved being molested by an old pervert!" Neji replied sarcastically, referring to the event at Chiyo's summer home involving Jiraiya. Before he could beat both the living shit **and** crap out his teacher, Tenten entered the scene.

"Good morning everyone!" she greeted cheerfully.

"Lee! Tenten!" a voice called. The group turned to see an excited Sakura running towards them. "I arranged your date!" Neji, Lee, and Tenten froze. Tenten glanced nervously at Neji, and then Lee.

"How about an outing for the whole team?" Tenten suggested.

"Aw," Sakura moaned and kicked the ground. "Fine."

"See, Forehead Girl?" Ino said cheerfully, "Tenten likes Neji."

"She does not!" Sakura protested.

"Actually, I do," Tenten whispered to them.

"Ha, ha!" Ino cheered.

Sakura looked down in shame. She handed Tenten an envelope and then ten dollars. "Buy another ticket when you get there," she ordered. Sakura shuffled away to her training grounds to cheer herself up with Sasuke's presence.

Tenten opened the envelope. Inside were two tickets to the carnival, which happened to be conveniently in town. Team Gai cheerfully hooked arms, youthfully bid Ino goodbye, and skipped their merry way to the carnival, not seeing Tenten's blood-thirsty mother following them. As Ino waved goodbye to them, Choji approached her.

"Ino, Asuma-sensei wants us to meet at our training spot," he reported.

"What could he possibly want?" she asked.

When they arrived at their training grounds, Shikamaru was sitting at the base of a tree and Asuma was standing nearby, looking a little upset. "I've noticed that you've been disagreeing with each other lately."

Before she knew it, Ino found herself in the body of a girl with red hair gathered into a messy ponytail, a sleeveless shirt, short shorts, and suspenders. A boy with spiky black hair gasped as he looked down at his torso. "Since when was I this skinny?"

A small, yellow rodent with red cheeks addressed her in an annoyed tone: "Pikachu."

* * *

I really hoped that you enjoyed reading my crack-tastic fan fiction. I'd like to thank you so much for sticking with reading all the way through. It really means a lot to me. Please review and tell me what you think!


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